Down, Down, Down
by fallen11angel
Summary: "You won't remember me" He whispered "How could I forget? I'll be back before you know it" But I broke my promise and forgot everything, then I fell into a rainy rabbit hole into Wonderland. A Hatter would help me remember if we retraced my steps together
1. Alice and The Falling

**Down, Down, Down**

A Fanfic Inspired By Everything Alice In Wonderland: mainly Lewis Carroll and Tim Burton. Including songs; Down (Blink 182), Safetysuit and Painting Flowers (All Time Low)

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or places in this story, we know!

Summary: "You won't remember me" Hatter whispered. "How could I forget? I'll be back before you know it." I responded without hesitation. Yet with treacherous disregard to my promises, the traces of Wonderland had been diminished from my memory and reduced to an unsettling dream.  
But I would return to Wonderland for the third time in my life, how will things turn out if do not remember anything much at all?

_Chapter One_

* * *

The earth beneath me squelched in protest noisily as I hurried through the forest. Each footstep I took to push myself forward as I staggered, had me splashing muddy soil onto the bottom of my baby blue dress, almost as quickly as it was becoming soaked through by ice cold rain. The frill white stocking and doll shoes I was wearing had already long become ruined, so I tried not to think about the trouble I would be in when my mother found out about them. Or the fact that this outfit made me look too much like a little girl.

Instead, I thought about getting safely out of the storm and into any shelter – even if it was beneath some thick, leafy foliage or inside the hollow bark of a tree – I was also thinking about how silent it was and how lucky it was that no stray twigs had snagged my dress as I ran recklessly. My mother would be even angrier then. The deafening silence was broken only by my heavy breathing as I released hot steam from my lips into the winter air, the heavy rain crashing and my feet splashing through the mud dirt. My hands grazed against the trunks of trees as I passed them, with my hands out before me clumsily trying to pull myself faster. I suddenly became aware of the dampness of my face, and took a moment to wipe the hair that was stuck wetly across my chin and mouth.

It was obviously a mistake that I had not brought my winter coat out with me, so I knew it would be my fault if I ever froze to death. Or drowned? Because this rainfall, somehow didn't look like it was ever going to end. How long had I been running? It felt like hours. I had never been good at keeping time - at least as far as I could remember…

_A golden pocket watch kept in a_ _velvet blazer front pocket…_ I saw behind my closed eyelids when I blinked. It lasted about a millisecond, which is usually how long these unexpected flashes lasted.

Startled by the image, I wondered why it was so familiar to me and at the same time why I could not remember where or how I had acquired that memory. My hands turned into fists in my frustration as I ran.

Sometimes it felt like there was this huge time in my life that was empty, or that had been taken away from me, stolen? And somehow though I had no clue exactly what happened then, if anything. I had tried for several hours on some days to remember, sitting in silence working with my eyes closed, but failed.

_Vivid wide green eyes with specks of gold and blue_… suddenly appeared in front of me in the dimming darkness of the dusk. They made me jump and my heart instantaneously skipped several long beats. Yet when I peered ahead of me again - they were gone. For some reason whenever I thought of these familiar green eyes, my chest would begin to ache and I wanted to fall to the ground crying for loss.

I was aware that I still had no idea whose eyes they were, or where I had seen them from…

I knew it. After all these years of conjuring up silly stories in my mind. I was finally crazy. I had finally become mad! Mad Alice! I blinked to get the excess rain out of my eyes… or where they tears? I was not sure at all. But when I used my now open palms to claw away the water from my face, I stumbled over the objects naturally scattered on the dirt.

Before I could pull myself upright and steady my balance, I tripped over another fallen branch. But because my vision was still a murky blur, I could not manage to see or haul myself back from falling into the soaking dirt floor. In my mind I pictured a large, long pool of foggy brown water that would be deep enough to have me sunken to the elbows. So I acted as fast as I could, shielding my face with my arms and hands, at least if I fell into a mud puddle my face would be saved… even if the clothes my mother had worked hard to buy and make me wear were wrecked forever. This may have been a good thing on any other day, except that I was fond of this very old dress.

I felt myself fall through the rushing cold air, but was moderately surprised when I never touched the muddy floor, or even landed onto any ground at all. Instead, I just fell… and fell… and fell. The air suddenly became a little warmer and I could feel my hair whipping around me despite a lack of change in speed, neither continuing faster or slower. Regardless to repeat… I still never reached the floor?

With a jolt of joy in my stomach that I, myself did not understand I unwrapped my icy, damp arms from around my face and discovered a wide, deep and dark, dark hole in front of me. It was so deep that it stretched beyond me it what seemed like a never-ending pit. My eyes widened instantly that I thought they may engulf my entire face, which of course was impossible.

Uselessly, I tried to struggle midair to grab onto something that would my stop my fall, but there were so very few objects I could reach that I looked ridiculous frantically moving my arms around me, as if I were swimming mid-air. With a sudden disregard for seeing the crazy, my fingers brushed against the bed frame of a golden, ancient bed and through the thistles of a patterned lampshade. I had not managed to hold onto them for long enough to stop me from plummeting downwards… so I continued.

But as suddenly as I felt my eyes begin to prick with the dryness of not blinking, my falling – or floating downwards – I slowed, as if gravity's hold on me had loosened. Peering through the darkness I noticed a dim floor, almost the same colour of the velvet darkness that surrounded me. I thought inwardly of how much pain would be caused for that great a fall and hitting hard against the ground finally.

Nevertheless, though my mind told me I would not feel pain from reaching the floor from my fall, I immediately covered my face again by wrapping my pale arms around it. Then for a second time, when I did not feel myself touch the ground, I became shocked at my lack of pain or injury and that when I peeked through the gap between my arms, I had realized I was already laying face down on the floor… When I jerked to turn around and face the hole I had fallen all the way through, in the fear that the large items that had fallen faster down than me would reach the ground also. I was met with a normal ceiling with a extremely dim candle chandelier. As if there was no trace of my fall. I was crazy for sure!

How was this possible? Was I dreaming? Of course I was!

Maybe I was still lying in that mud puddle in the middle of the darkening woods, unconscious for hitting my head. So, yes. This was a dream.

I stood up unsteadily, having to walk over to a small, round wooden table that happened to be in the centre of the equally circular room, and brushed the dust off my incredibly dirty dress. My dress which was once a faded, baby blue was now half brown in splashes from the waist down. I scrunched my face with distaste and a little sadness.

When I realized I had not yet woken up, I pinched myself several times – getting more painful in increasing levels with each time I repeated the action – until I almost screamed and my eyes watered from the sting of the final pinch. I had not yet woken up. Was I really dreaming? Because that usually did the trick, if nothing else.

With a stifled sigh, I brushed the hair out of my face and tilted my head up to examine the room. The room really was as dark as the pit, so that one had to really adjust to the dim light to notice that at each 45 degree angle of the room, there was a door – all of different styles and aesthetics – but all as dark as the wall it was sunken into, making it difficult to distinguish between them. I released my gripping hold onto the empty table and noticed I had left a clear handprint in the layer of dust. Had no one ever tended to this little room?

I hurried over to the first door directly ahead of me, which was ominous in the way it towered a metre or so larger over my head and had deep panels on it with little carved drawings of tea cups. With my hand shaking a little from unknown and un-understandable emotions, I clasped the black handle of the door and took a last sweeping look at the other doors that were in slight vision of the shadowed room. One had a castle carved on its panels, with towers that would stretch high up in the sky, whilst the other one half engulfed in shadows had an image of a forest – neither which felt as safe as this door. My hand gripped on its handle. I was not willing to be going into another forest again either… if there was one behind that door.

I peeled my eyes away from behind me and looked up and down the door in front of me, my grip tightening around the handle as if it were a life source. Though somewhere in my mind, it told me that these doors would not open without a key, that they were locked from visitors… locked from strangers like me. That when I finally turned the handle and pushed my body weight onto the door, I was certain it would not open. But then I heard the faint "click" as it unlocked and opened it front of me, dragging me forwards as it swung aside. I gave a little sigh of relief when I was met with a sunny, summer scene in front of me and a summer breeze swept past and into a small dusty room behind me. I closed the door.

Slightly blinded by the sight in front of me and took a hand above my forehead to shield the rays of sun from my eyes, after that I was able to see much better. I was standing at the opening of a long field, and at the end stood a small café with a swinging sign hinged to the roof of tea cup drawings, and a stone patio outside of it with a few tables and seats. However, there were no people around and the windows were glossed and too far away to see if anyone was inside. In the distance there was a little windmill with a stone chimney beside it that had smoke seeping out of it; maybe there would be people there to help me. They could tell me where I was and how to get back home. Home?

The grass beneath me was the most vibrant jade colour I had ever seen that it was almost unnatural for grass to be this healthy, it was also neither too long or short as most grass was – as if this had been perfectly tended to. I must commend them, if ever I met them and what a crazy thought that was to praise somebody for having perfect grass. I smiled a little for the first time today… if today was still the same day I had woken up to. Seeing as the last thought I was it was dusk turning to night and now, it was already mid-morning? How could that be?

Suddenly I was vaguely aware of a prickling at my back and up my neck that I twisted around and jumped back, almost tripping over my own feet clumsily. When I did balance myself, looked up to find that the door that had taken me here, had disappeared and in its place was a tall man of bizarre and rather peculiar apparel gawking at me with wide eyes. _Wide, vivid green eyes_… I thought to myself. It shook me to my heart and my lips parted with a gasp at this somehow, familiar stranger.

He took off his high top hat, which was deep black with a flaring red ribbon wrapped tightly around it and in that ribbon was a little white paper tag tucked inside with a price still on it. This man also wore a matching red military sort of jacket made of patches of different materials, in some places patches of velvet, suede and other plain cotton or denim. The cuffs and collar, oddly enough were yellow and the jacket sported baby blue buttons – underneath the jacket was a pastel green formal shirt with a white cloth with red dots on it in the place of a bow. His bottom half was rather alright, for he wore a pair of black trousers that complimented his long, slender legs and at the end were tucked into a pair of vintage wing cap or brogue brown leather boots. He was oddly dressed indeed, but in my mind I thought it suited him well in an extraordinary way. I had decided that I liked it very much in a few seconds also, but held back my smile. Instead my lips remained tightly flat.

Now that he took off his hat and held it with grasped pale fingers to his chest I could see his mound of black hair that shined reflectively with its extremely dark shade. Though a little ruffled and messy, it looked attractive as some of it fell onto his face and over his eyes, whilst the rest of the strays swept sideways in a right-wards direction. His unblinking emerald eyes continued to stare at me and through me piercingly. I threw him back an expression of discomfort, to which he responded.

"Alice?" He whispered, taking a hesitant step forward as I followed with a step back - even if I wanted to throw my arms around the waist of this beautiful stranger and bury myself in his arms. With that though crossing my mind, he outstretched his arms as if he was going to do just that. Hat still in hand he held out his arms towards me as he took another small step toward me.

"Don't you remember who I-" He began, but I cut him off.

"Who are you?" I said with an unused and croaky voice for having not spoken for the longest time. I brought my arms up in front of me, unsure whether I was us going to use them to protect me or pull his hands towards me. I decide to use them to guard me. To which he looked taken aback before an expression of pure grief, he then dropped his arms and propped the hat atop his head again so that its rim covered his eyes just as his hair did. His lips curled weakly into an attempted smile.

"You promised to remember. But you forgot?" He said, with his voice unwavering.

"What?"

He had recovered quickly, for there was not a trace of sadness in his expression but of sparkling curiosity when he finally tilted his head back up to look me in the eyes. Those handsome green eyes. That was not a flash this time, but a mere passing thought, "Hello, my name is Tarrant Hightopp. But please call me Hatter and welcome to Wonderla-"

"You are the boy from my dream!" I exclaimed, rudely interrupting him another time. But this time around, he did not respond with a look of surprise and as a substitute, cocked up an eyebrow whilst tilting the side of his face toward me as if waiting for an explanation, "I dream about this place when I sleep or sometimes have flashes in the day which I don't understand. But you are in my dream sometimes, even though I don't know who you are. I always see your eyes, and I think I imagine myself sitting in front of that windmill on a long dinner table." I pointed in the distance, somehow now that I had begun saying the flashes out loud, they began to make more sense – but still unsure if they were just figments of my dream.

I was suddenly aware of some of the things I had just said and blushed a little too wildly, my cheeks becoming a shameful shade of rose. Why was I so affected if this person in front of me was only a part of a dream?

"But you mistake yourself, this place _Wonderland_ is real. Maybe you have been here before?" He said, startling the silence between us and as if he was reading my mind. The last part of what he said had a mischievous hint it that when I looked up at him, he was smirking. His face was like a mood ring – ever changing expressions, ever changing emotions.

"No, I think _you_ are mistaken – uh – Hatter. I have only been here in dreams and this right now is a dream! I am dreaming because I hit my head in the woods."

Un-phased by me he replied calmly, "A girl I once knew told me that she would pinch herself to wake up from a dream and that it worked every time. Why not try it?"

"Why don't you?" I answered back without thinking.

Within seconds he had enclosed the space in between us and was now standing a mere few centimetres of me. All I could see was his face as he engulfed my vision; I felt his own warm breath on my face as I held my own in anticipation. My fingers wrung tightly to the clothes of my dress in my hands but with one hand he took my left arm in his warm grasp but hesitated as his other hand hovered over my other arm. His wide unmoving eyes, though were staring down at his hands were they burned me, for a second glanced up at me for signs of emotion. I gave none.

"I am terribly sorry about this." He excused before pinching me, a smug look appearing on his face. His deep green eyes with specks of random colour were the last I saw. I fainted.

* * *

_A/N:_ First story for Alice in Wonderland and the first story to mark my return to the fanfiction world. Please enjoy!  
Also, I know I did change Hatter's appearance, not that I don't commend the way Hatter looks in the Burton movie - but it is kinda creepy. So I gave my own interpretation of him in my mind, let me know what you think about it?

I took this inspiration from a lovely drawing I found on deviantart which matched very closely to my own image -  
.net/fs16/f/2007/177/3/e/Mad_as_a_Hatter_by_

-fallen11angel


	2. Alice and The Nightmare

**Down, Down, Down**

_Can't you see the faces melting  
As the sun fades from their eyes?  
Oh, are you gonna keep your head  
With the hearts that you hang behind?  
Look at yourself  
Look in the mirror  
Don't see you see a line  
That you tell yourself again a thousand times?  
And the truth that makes you sad  
Will make you cry_

_So you fall down a hole  
That's the one place that we both know  
-The Poison (All American Rejects)_

_Chapter Two  


* * *

_

When my eyes slowly fluttered open, the surroundings were a hazy blur. All I could see were a smudge of colours in large blobs rather than clear and defined objects. Nevertheless when I blinked quickly several times, my vision much improved and I was able to recognise familiar domestic furniture in an atypical style of a living room. I saw walls around me of dark purple and soft material, though velvety in appearance it was just an immitation. It was a rather odd choice of something to put as wall decoration – seeing as wallpaper or paint would be much more suitable. And normal.

However these dark walls complimented the rest of the room's interior, with four Victorian Chaise lounges placed, two at the opposite corners of the room and two in front of the large dark wood fireplace. Right now there was no fire flickering and not even the traces of its smoky smell lingering in the air, it appeared that the fireplace had not been used in some time, for there were not even logs resting inisde it. The only source of light in the room came from the double, black paned windows at the far end, engulfing the entire wall and bringing in bright rays of intense sunlight. Only when I had realized how bright it really was, did I narrow my eyes - though I did not feel my pupils constrict, I knew they did to protect my vision.

There was an extremely large and reflective mirror above that nearby fireplace, outlined with a frame so outlandish and out of place in the room it seemed vaguely clear at the back of my mind whose home this was – for they would most likely share the same taste in unusual clothing, just as their furniture. But what was his name again? Ha-? Hat-?

At the bottom of the shining and almost supernatural mirror, I caught sight of a pale arm draped over the top of one of the Victorian lounges. When I instantly turned my head to the same spot from the reflection, I saw it was my own white arm. It was so unusually pale in the sun it looked as if soon I would disappear into the air. I was still lying down on the sofa, my hair in a neat mane around my face and my legs carelessly thrown onto the end of sofa, as if I had been dragged onto here or carried and then dropped. How long had I been sleeping? How could I even tell that this was a dream anymore, because (dare I say it a millionth time) pinching really did the trick. I tried to reach out a hand so I could pinch myself in the upper arm, but I was glued to the seat I was lying on and I could not move.

My heart began to race in uneven, lurging beats that it became almost painful to hear. I saw a shadow flicker somewhere at the back of mirror behind my seat. If I could, I froze. My eyes wide and afraid to blink, but I suddenly had more than enough energy.

I had never sat upward so quickly and twisted around to see who it was. My heart continued to crescendo and continue in painful, unnatural pulses that I immediately clutched the place above my left breast. As my hair whipped around me everywhere, it felt as if time had suddenly turned in slow motion, but why? When I turned, I met face to face with large, green eyes – this time, oddly enough, with specks of gray spreading across to the pupils and overwhelming the full eye almost completely. My breathing quickened – but it was only… Hatter?

But just as quickly as I saw the colour fade from his eyes, he closed them and put a block wall to his emotions. I could not read his face anymore, I felt vulnerable. A second ago the situation seemed intense and unnerving, now it was calm and even more so when Hatter spoke in a whisper – his eyes still closed and the proximity between us never faltering.

"I always knew you would return to me like this." He whispered, but his voice had a disturbing undertone, as if it was been possessed and used by another. _Return to.. him?_

"Hatter?" I asked, my voice shaking and betraying me completely. I clutched my chest yet tighter still becuase it was hurting.

He ignored me and continued, speaking words that in no way made sense to me, nonetheless because I tried too hard to understand them my head began to hurt. More than my chest. My mind was screaming and I couldn't take it anymore, there were too many noises in my head – a ticking pocket watch, the wind whistling, and a boy in front of me whispering – but they were too loud, so loud that my head would explode. So unnatural and exteme. I grabbed at the strands of my hair, scrunching and wringing them woundedly to distract the other pains. Frustration was building just as Hatter look my face in his hands. But it was unlike the last time our skin touched, this time he was ice cold, but still burning me. Everything was hurting, I felt like I was dying. I could barely flinch away for the sounds were getting louder. I was almost not able to hear him speak next.

"We will be destroyed by what we love." _What or who?_

Suddenly, in an instant, the sounds were gone and silence that was as typical as being completely alone in a room was back. The silence itself was deafening, and was a void absent of any sound. Eyes watering, I removed my shaking hands from my ears and hair to look up for comfort in my companions face... but was horrified instead.

What once was Hatter's beautifully haunting face was now melting. His eyes had lost their colour and pupils completely; they were now dripping white and streaming down his face. Like tears but almost glutinous. I let out a terrified gasp and my severe breathing pattern returned. His hands, that where once on my face had now liquefied and run down my chest to dampen to top of my dress. A soaked stain began to travel down. My eyes widened further because his face was really melting, and like hot wax he landed in dribbles on my lap, scorching my skin. Without knowing at what to do, the sounds were back, taking up my minds space and screaming in it – I looked straight into my reflection in the mirror and the boy in front of me was gone. Instead I was covered in a gooey texture all over my arms and legs, what was happening?

I screamed.

And screamed.

"ALICE!"

My eyes shot open this time, making no room for sleepy traces of blurry vision. I was alert from the moment I gained consciousness. My right hand shot up and grabbed with a vice-like grip onto the one thing that appeared closest to me – though I had not known it was Hatter's slender wrist, to which was joint to the hand cupping my cheek. When I looked up from where I was lying down on the lounge, I found that he was leaning over me with his other hand on my shoulder. My mouth was open, still gaping after being cut off from my shrill scream and I knew my face was completely damp with salty tears, absorbed by my numb lips and skin.

I don't think I've ever had a nightmare like that before. It was frightening … it was disgusting. Even now though Hatter spoke sweet comforts that I barely heard, as they were just background noise and drones; even then I was afraid of looking up at his face. I did not want to see anything like that again. My chest threatened me with a twinge of slight ache.

I heard him sigh, even with my wide, unblinking eyes staring at one spot on his neat blazer I knew that he was going to retreat because we had kept skin contact for far too long to remain decent. Yet as he began to pull his hand away and its lovely warmth had just left my cheek, I pulled it hurriedly back to me with both hands and finally having the courage to stare straight into his gray eyes. Gray? Ever changing.

"Stay with me a moment." I murmured guiltily and as moderately observant as I was, I noticed a speck of pink and green back in the Hatters dark gray eyes. It was logical to assume that he really had mood rings for eyes, but I was glad of it, even if I had no clue what yet all of the colours meant. It shows his humanity. It would be interesting to discover the colours for myself.

The Hatter contemplated to himself for a moment as I saw, he closed and opened his mouth several times not being able to say what he wanted to say, or so it appeared. But after a few minutes of silence but for the muffled sound of the summer wind sliding across the window and the sound of birds singing, I kept my hold on the Hatters hand and covering it with both of my own two smaller hands. A few million feelings bubbled inside me that I was unsure to identify and that I was vaguely aware of the tingling my fingertips made wherever they touched his skin. Wanted to shout at him to speak and at the same time, remain quiet so that this situation became less uncomfortable than it already was.

The time had eventually come and the Hatter shyly withdrew has hand from mine and took it back, I made no embarrassing grasps to keep holding onto him. I did not keep his hands to me by tangling my fingers through his, but instead I just let him go. It makes me sad to leave him again. Again? Surely this was nothing but a small meaningless encounter and was the first? My head twinged a little with a painful pinch at the back of my head, though I thought to ignore it.

He adjusted from his awkward position, leaning over my laying body and as I swung my feet off the lounge silently, he took a seat beside me at an arms distance. Sitting upright in the most lady like posture I could manage, I brushed the stray hairs from my slightly damp face and smoothed down my dress so the creases were made less noticeable. I sighed - as did he. I decided to be the first to speak as he was so withdrawn and stuck somewhere daydreaming of something in his mind. I long since accidentally knocked off his hat when I struggled to awaken from my nightmare, and I saw it had rolled a ways off across the black tiled floor. My feet were cold as my toes touched the tiles, and wondered where my boots had gone? Oh, he had seen a girl without stockings! His mass of messy hair covered his eyes so that once again I felt the déjà vu of not having insight into this stranger's wild and expressive emotions.

"I realize that because I am still here and that _you…_ are still here, that I must still be dreaming." I looked over sideways for signs of emotion, but though he had now cocked up his head in my direction, politely listening to what I had to say. His expression was neutral and nor could I see past the now- normal colour of his eyes. I continued, "If I am still dreaming, surely what I have to say should not affect either of us. Because I am still dreaming. And I am?" I remained silent, waiting for any response. I appeared as if I was trying to reinforce what I tried myself to think and in my mind I did not sound that confident at all. I was rambling, which was commonly experienced when I felt nervous or in the rare cases in which I was unsure of what to say... exactly.

"I suppose, if that is still was you _choose_ to believe." He finally spoke, whispering and with a brief mischievous sparkle that would usually go unnoticed by others who would not as much observe every detail of this boy's handsome face. That was best well to be kept well to myself, even in a dreamland. He was doing it again! That annoying sense like he knew better than me, which of course he was wrong!

"Then I'm sorry." I surrendered, breaking my gaze and avoiding his. We would continue that arguement if I still refused to wake up, until then I would let him keep thinking he was right.

"What?" He exclaimed, shocked by the sudden turn of the conversation, his eyes did widen more so this time, "Sorry for wha-"

I interrupted without an apology.

"Apparently I should be sorry for leaving you. For having have abandoned you at all, whoever you are. Or whoever you were... to me? I am not particularly sure why I am saying this but the words are just coming out of my mouth. But assuming that this is still a dream – which it is – this doesn't matter." His quiet, but empowering chuckle was enough to stop from me babbling on and if he had not done so I probably would not have stopped talking nonsense. I was so confused because of my body acting in a way that was so - what was happening? I tried to hold down the conflicting emotions in my mind and chest, I bit my lip to do so properly and concentrated.

"You seem to talk a lot more than you did _before_." He said, still smiling a half smile that meant he only curled one side of his rose lips. This time he was looking up at the ceiling and the decorative paintings on it, or was he just thinking?

"Don't do that." I murmured with a hint of anger.

"Do what?"

"Act like you already know me." I said, furrowing my brows and staring deep into the shadow of the fireplace. If I had mood rings for eyes, then mine would be darkening.

He chuckled that warm laugh again and it shook me unexpectedly, though I tried to give no surrender of my inward emotions, my brows shot up in slight astonishment, "But on the contrary Alice, you would be surprised."

I threw him a look of question, which he did not answer. What did that mean? This was getting even more and more confusing. My mind was aching as if it were being crushed between two hands.

I am very truly and actually, positively mad. But how do I wake up? How do I get home and away from what is making me Mad?

"I seem to know you, but at the same time I do not. Who are you really Tarrant Hightopp?"

* * *

_A/N:_ This is taking an interesting turn. If anyone has any buzzing ideas for this story please tell me, because there are too many in my head. I need help!  
Enjoy! Will update soon.

-fallen11angel


	3. Alice and The Tea Table

**Down, Down, Down**

_Chapter Three  


* * *

_

Mad Hatter. Mad Hatter. Mad Hatter.

I repeated the words in my mind, practicing the syllables and trying to make sense of them. Or memorise them? Then I tilted my head slightly to the right out of habit, which is usually what I did when I was either confused or in thought – this time, of course, I was in thought.

So very odd to have such a name, that I wondered deeply about the context and history behind it. Mad Hatter… I pursed my lips a little as I thought more to myself and briefly looked back down at the white table cloth that somehow managed to cover the entirety of the long tea party table. It must have been special to create such a piece to last this long over a simple table. On the several metres worth of table there lay an assortment of various tea time china, such as differently styled and coloured cups, mugs, tea pots, china kettles, plates and cutlery. Rarely I spotted the odd crack or shattered china amongst the spectrum of the tea time mess, in a way this table's arrangement reminded me of the Hatter and this crazy dream world (which I had accustomed to calling Wonderland, off the top of my head) though everything was mismatched and peculiarly arranged, cramped or strange, I had learnt to love it in its own way. In a sense I had figured in my mind that its unusualness was lovely to me. Wonderland was very… much? Muchy…? Wonderland has...

"Muchness." Hatter muttered from the other end of the table, which was very far indeed.

I looked up at him suddenly, startled as if he had read my mind again and was speaking directly to me. Instead, I found him staring into the sky with a slightly cocked head that rested on his fist propped up by an arm on the table, there was a faint hint of a smile. He was daydreaming yet another time and so far away from the present time that he had begun to talk to himself again. I so very much disliked when he did that – as if I was not even present. I also disliked having to sit at opposite sides of the table to him! It was like sitting across a pond to each other. Did he not know that it was incredibly rude to treat a guest this way, or particularly to avoid conversation with his guest by placing them as far as away as possible? How rude indeed! I began to drum my fingers loudly on the table top, in attempt to contain my irritation. I licked my dry lips to pass the time.

But rather, _muchness_ was the right word. Wonderland had muchness, it was such a pleasant distortion of what the real world was like and brimming to the top with wonderful, beautiful things. Two days here had shown me that already and my, must I have an incredible imagination to conjure this one up! This world was beautiful and everything in it... the trees, the sky and the Hatt- well, everything in this world was stunning. Right now the sky was nearing the second dusk I had seen, and the clouds were slowly swirling as the sky changed from a bright baby blue to a deep pink and purple.

"Why are you called the Mad Hatter?" I finally asked, noticing the sound of the wind whispering and the crickets singing from the edge of the close forestry.

After a moment the Hatter turned his head towards me with distant, far- off eyes that were faded green, yet before long they returned in focus and usual colour. His propped up arm went down flat onto the table and his fingers traced the brim of a golden rimmed plate. His lips became a thin, flat line. Thoughtful, like I was a few minutes before.

"I surely think that they call me a Hatter because I am obligued to make hats for the Queen and anyone else who asks it off me. But usually I make hats whenever I want to. I make a lot of hats…" He answered, before lifting up his hands to reveal to me his brandished and impaired fingers. A few fingers were wrapped in coloured bandages at the tips (primary colours of blue, yellows and red), whilst others were just slight pink with the soreness of sewing needle pricks, one thumb had a green thimble stuck onto it.

"And you are mad... because?" I prodded on, standing up from my pink armchair by pushing two arms up from the table and causing some of the china to rattle with the negligible movement. Though his head remained in the same position, I noticed him follow me with his eyes as I walked unhurriedly towards him. I took the time to count my steps and observe how the china was set on the table whilst I brushed my fingers over them, and also how the tiny flowers by my feet leaned over towards my boots when I stepped over them. What a strange place indeed!

I stopped when I reached the white wooden chair to the Hatter's left hand side, he looked up at me with misty, curious eyes.

"May I take this seat?" I asked though I had already pulled out the chair from underneath the table and had already made my move downwards to sit on it when I continued, "I find it awfully weird, trying to uphold a conversation from that far away." I made myself as comfortable as possible on the solid, un-cushioned chair and resting both arms on the table, I leaned towards the figure in front of me just as I remembered the path of our conversation. I looked curious, and very eager.

"Don't they simply call me mad because I am? At first I did not think that I could possibly be mad. But considering things from the perspective of other people, I understand why they would call me such. Don't you think I am as mad as a box of frogs?" He smiled a crooked, but full hearted smile which eventually became a toothy grin when he was met with my face of confusion. After that I could resist the urge to laugh myself.

I giggled at the horrible use of a phrase as his grin became larger still, and though it was a lovely smile to make my heart beat irrevocably fast, I did not think he understood why I was laughing properly. I muffled my laugh with a hand over my mouth and let the last few racks of my shoulders die down before I was able to speak politely. I tried to clear my throat.

"You are as mad as a Hatter," I said before I smiled at him, "And I think my madness can equally match yours."

He did not respond to that, although instead he smirked for a brief moment and broke our eye contact to examine his fingers as he flexed them on the table. My smile subsided a little too wondering what I had said, because as far as I knew I had said nothing offensive or divisive. My eyebrows furrowed a little as I contemplated and I looked down at my makeshift outfit even as the silence between the both of us characters ensued another elongated time.

I pouted my lips again as I went into thought. The Hatter seemed not the type to give clear answers or answers at all! Yesterday I had asked him who he really was to me (since he was so convinced that we had been past acquaintances). Nevertheless he threw the question aside uncaringly; with a mere "I am just silly old galoot mad Hatter, so nothing at all!" To which I threw a huff and pout for his difficulty, I remember stomping my feet on the cold tile floor, though it was ineffective, and crossed my arms. Why was he being so introverted! Couldn't he just tell the truth? Maybe after all he wasn't like the rest of this lovely world, he was unnerving and infuriating, though he had a beautiful face, it was quickly forgotten when he would open his mouth.

Unexpectedly my chest squeezed and held me to bite my words back. I stopped thinking and looked up at him wearily to see if he had creepily heard my mind screaming again. If he had read my thoughts? Thankfully his face gave nothing away and I sighed with relief.

My eyes were drawn down instinctively to the front pocket of his red jacket, once empty now had a frilly handkerchief in it. When did that get there, surely it was not the day before? This handkerchief had the material of fine, baby blue cloth which appeared almost like a ruffled mess of chiffon. It was tucked very untidily into this front pocket and as I looked up at his face and back down again, before I pointed a neat finger at it; causing his eyes to dart upwards once again in a startle.

"What is that?" I asked, rudely enough to interfere into another's personal life – even if I was the one who created them. _Wasn't this my dream after all? _But wasn't this lasting much too long? I curled back my finger into my hand and drew away slowly, suddenly conscious of my manners.

The Hatter looked down and eyed the chiffon bundle before stoking it lightly with the back of his pointer finger, "This was something that used to belong to somebody I felt very close to." He at last met my eager eyes with his two warm green ones, with now the glorious specks of golden sparkles. This particular vert, reminded me of looking up the tree leaves as the sun shone down behind them, making the leaves look transparent and bright – this comforted me and made me feel _home_. His smile was genuine this time, with no traces of ironic smirks or weak attempts that I tried to return this.

"Who was she?" I had assumed it was girl, purely because of the fact that it would be unusual for a gentleman to own a piece of material of that feminine style. Unless, they liked that sort of thing... Though I felt guilty for asking, he did not particularly give the vibe that I was obtrusive or verging on a topic that as uncomfortable to him. Nervously, my fingers played with the hem of my new dress.

"Don't worry you guessed correctly," He reassured me, doing that unexplainable reading my mind sort of thing again, "And she was a very idiosyncratic… unusual kind of girl. A little bonny… beautiful. She captured my heart the second time we met, rather than the first. I loved her…" By the time he had finished his incoherent dialogue, the last part of it was barely audible as his whisper had become so quiet it would be difficult for him to hear it himself. He paused, "I still do..."

My heart leapt when his eyes moved instantly to meet with mine again and I was unsure how to react. Oh my, he was in love! With a girl who left him a ridiculously tiny dress? How small was she? And most of all why did I care? I smiled as sweetly as I could manage at him, and his wide eyes bore into mine unblinkingly – winning the stare war. If there was any. Though he didn't stop looking, and for a moment of not moving at all his eyes seemed to try to memorise everything on my face, they took it all in. Funnily enough, I thought his hand twitched a little beside mine, that I was so sure we would touch again - but I pushed the thought quickly away before it could make me blush wildly. Luckily, I only had a slight flush.

However, he still looked so sad, even if he was speaking about a love. His love! I wondered, (my mind wanders again!) about where she was and who she was, what she was doing away from the man who loved her?

"Do you wish you could see her now?" I asked inquisitively, trying to access the mind of a person fallen madly in love – since I had never experienced that sort of thing at all. What did it fee like? Love was something that rarely existed in the real world. In the world where my mother brought me endless suitors whom of which I all refused. No, I had never experienced falling in love... My heart gave a sharp twinge as if I was lying and I resisted the action of grabbing my left chest to relieve it. The Hatter just looked at me, his brow inclined as if I had asked a preposterous question or that it had an obvious answer. I did not know.

"I see her everywhere. Even now." He smirked knowingly and when his gaze became almost uncomfortable I turned to look around into the forestry behind me to search for any other signs of human life forces, but saw none. As I had expected, when I turned back around the Hatter had concentrated his eyes elsewhere. My self consciousness was relieved. But as he stared away, I thought maybe he was imagining her now too?

That surely would drive a person mad! You wish for their presence always and maybe believe they will be there when I fact they are not. To think of somebody constantly, would drive one insane!

I looked for attempts of comforting words, just as easily as he has found some for me the night before, however; I had never been particularly good at finding the right soothing words unless I thought about for a long time. Consoling words were not the sort I could find quickly. I spat out the first excuse and reason I thought of in the back of my mind, though I said it shyly.

"I'm sure she loves you back." I mumbled to myself, unsure of the effect it would have or the response it would receive.

"If a person loved you, would they forget who you were? Even after seeing them face to face…"

"Surely there must be a reason!"

"Would a person truly be in love with someone if they had no idea who the other was? Would _you _forget the person _you_ were in love with?" Though his voice barely escalated in volume, the emotion behind it became more and more intense. His voice never gave way once though, it was strong and did not bretay him like mine often did. I was shamed into a response.

"I guess not…" I said, biting my lip afterwards as my mind made me instantly regret my words. My chest ached so painfully afterwards, that I had to get away. This time I did not resist my hand to clutch the pain in my chest that I creased the part of my dress that I held there, with the other hand I dug my nails into my palm to distract the pain elsewhere without much luck.

I stood up hastily to avoid the Hatter from noticing what was happening. I abruptly pushed back the chair, and still holding onto my chest as it began to beat in unnatural lunges, I managed to take a few steps hurriedly away before I heard the other black armchair creak noisily as weight was lifted off of it. Unsure of where I had to go, I just knew I didn't want him to see me like this – seeing me weak.

My body and heart froze as I heard the muffled footsteps of his familiar boots on the rustling grass. But they stopped a few centimetres short of me and I felt an air of warmth directed at the back of my head. I was too afraid to turn around.

I stifled a short gasp as I felt gentle hands tug at the ribbon at the back of my dress, pulling me a little towards him, yet not far enough to bump into his lean chest. Thankfully. Then I remained as still as I could, thinking of a statue and after a few seconds of twisted fabric and tying knots I recognised, I was released.

I twisted halfway around after stepping about another metres distance away from my cohort and observed that the ribbon on the lower back of my dress had been tied neatly into a bow. Thus also tightening my dress to hug my body and giving the normal looking dress a little bit more justice. The dress was given to me by Hatter the night before, after the dreaded nightmare. After the sweat and the tears, he tried to make me feel better. He allowed me to peel the filthy, mud crusted dress off me, bathe and change into a new dress he took from his cloth workspace – all the while whilst having his back to me and his hands pressed over his eyes. Right now, I vaguely remembered shoving the dress on in nothing but the pitch black room and nothing but the moon for light, when Hatter took my other dress to be washed – I also could not do up the back ribbon properly by myself and gave up, forgetting about it. We never spoke about what happened the night before - it was never relevant anyway.

The dress as the same faded light blue, with a white ruffled tier of lace and chiffon at the bottom of the dress, which ended at my knees, and which I wore with my old boots (no stockings). The sleves were average and ended with stripey blue and black cuffs and pink buttons. The ribbon which was wrapped around my waist was equally striped blue and black… and was now done up.

Suddenly, just as quickly as I had escaped the tempting grasp of the Hatter's arm reach and turned back around to walk away, had he returned to grab hold of the end of the ribbon so that I couldn't move any further and stopped. Even if I tried to get away, his hold was too strong for me to move an inch, and I surrendered at the expense not ruining the bow. He stroked the fabric with his thumb, and though scaring me a little, we must have been a sight to see right then. His love might be jealous, for he was standing so close he could probably smell my hair and did not let go of the back of my dress. I felt at... _home. _

"Alice, Alice… Alice. You are rather forgetful." I heard the smile in his voice. Was he talking about the dress?

I certainly needed to wake up soon; otherwise I might never want to leave. I had a brief, horrible though of stealing a girl's love, but I rapidly erased it. I thought about his name again to block out everything else. I counted the syllables and moved around the words in my head. I turned them into pictures and moving images in my head. But I only imagined him smiling and tugging the back of my dress.

Mad Hatter. Mad Hatter. Hatter.

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_A/N:_ I know this might come across as a random, pointless chapter. In fact it probably is, I was just writing down the little bits of cuteness that was messing up my mind. It is really long too, isn't it?  
What do you think? Enjoy!

-fallen11angel


	4. Alice and The Cat

**Down, Down, Down**

Thank you so much for the favourites/ alerts and most of all to the wonderful reviews :)  
_Ngoc_ _Chau, NightRose131, I LOVE JACK ATLAS _and (especially) _Niphuria_! This is for you.

_Chapter Four_

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My heart died down at long last and left me in silence and in peace. It became a gentle throb before the eventual lessening of an underlying ache, then to my relief, nothing at all. I wanted to lie down and rest, because I felt so tired, but my tired legs dragged on despite having no direction at all. I was amidst the forest, after having left the Hatter standing alone by the tea table, I did not have time to see his face. But if I did I am sure he would be shocked at my rudeness or maybe if I was lucky, he would be concerned for my leaving. If I was lucky. Though I felt guilty for doing so, I had to get away before I cracked. Because if I did not, I was entirely sure that the niggling I had been ignoring at the back of my skull would somehow explode – though I wasn't entirely sure what would happen if that did. I imagined it to not be pleasant. Maybe I would finally lose the plot and become truly a mad person? Or I may die? Probably not, but sometimes it felt too painful that it seemed that way a lot.

To my disbelief I noticed the sky coloured at a night sky navy- blue and purple still. I had either been walking for hours or minutes. To that I was totally unsure – as I had mentally noted before, I had never been that good with time keeping, and this, was another one of those times. I turned around abruptly to see the path behind me, but there was no sign of the tea table or even a clearing in the distance. Instead it was a blue tinted path, covered in a spectrum of coloured leaves and surrounded on both sides by think forestry. If you carried on staring into the far off path you would not see light, but it would carry on until you saw nothing less but shadows anymore. I wanted to call out for help, that I was lost. Although, I had never liked being one to ask for directions, so with a brief inward sigh I carried on ahead down the path. I gave one last fleeting look behind me and set out again. It was intensely lonely and I saw the leaves falling around and in front of me like snowflakes, they barely made a noise at all.

It seemed that though it was very well into the night, and that it was also different here than in England – for it was neither cold nor humid, it was warm. It was just the right warm temperature for sleeping, because it was the type to make you feel relaxed and want to close your eyes without thinking about it twice. I wanted to just lean back and fall into a bed of leaves I was sure would be waiting for me, I was so very tempted...

I blinked my eyes several times before I held them wide open to keep from doing just that, if anyone was looking (which I'm sure was) they could see so much of the whites in my eyes that for once, I may look frightening. From my left hand side I heard a low, deep whistling sound in the wind as if something was moving around in the air. It came in short, slow bursts that provoked my curiosity. I could have been a bird, but I would have definitely heard wings fluttering by now, seeing as it was so close to my face. Though I studied the diameter around me from the side of my eyes, I saw nothing though the sound continued again on the other side of me and then behind.

Curious, I spun the whole way around to face my visitor – inwardly frightened that it would just be a mouse or another animal, and that I was probably overreacting again. To my surprise I came face to face with an odd fur ball of a grinning cat, whose smile stretched so wide across his face I could count his gleaming fangs in the darkness, if I wanted to. Though he was floating in mid air a few centimetres away, he flew forwards the small distance quickly and we collided, so that our noses touched – I gasped and his smile stretched further, if possible. Notably he chuckled a deep, manly laugh before moving back away again and proceeding to swirl around me in half spirals of mist and half his solid body. I had to keep walking around and turning to keep up with him.

"It looks like your back, Alice." He said in his deep, out of place rumble with a hint of an underlying purr. A few rays of moonlight escaped the foliage and shade of the trees, coming down around us in dancing circles on the leafy floor, and showing the dusty air floating.

"Cheshire Cat." I stated, and rather unsure where the name had blurted from.

"Ah!" He exclaimed, and his voice echoing in the deep shadows of the calm forest, "So the young Alice keeps her promise and remembers!" The cat, funnily enough, was able to smirk and swirled around me producing clouds of purple mist around him as he floated. Why did everyone think that I was this other Alice? By now, I was hesitant to give up this as a dream, because everything was so real, so vivid... I could really be here. Down the rainy hole.

"Oh no, you've got me wrong. I just know your name and that is all. I think you have got me mixed up with another Alice?" I said, my voice sounding as unsure as my mind felt and the niggling was back, though I only noticed it faintly - I had stopped following the flying cat and stood terribly still whilst he observed me from the back. I felt the piercing of his eyes on by hair, then the back of my neck and downwards. He was studying me?

"No," He murmured and peering over my shoulder so that I had to turn my head slightly to him. He beamed, "You are definitely the right Alice. No other Alice would have that golden messy tress of hair and that curiouser look on your face. Yes, it is most certainly the right Alice. There are no others." For a moment he evaporated into the still night air and all I could hear was his breathing. After a minute his grin appeared in front of me in a distance, coming into view a while before the rest of his body did. It seemed like I was becoming less surprised by strangeness, perhaps I was already accustomed to it for some time!

"But I do not remember who you ar-"

"Who is the Queen of this land?" He asked sharply, and cutting me off. One furry eyebrow lifting.

"The White Queen," I began, the look on my face growing shocked at myself. I let out a quick gasp. The words came out of my mouth before I had time to process the question or the quick information appearing in minute fractures in my mind – as if a part of my memory that had been chained up was becoming undone, "Mirana of Marmoreal?"

The troublesome ticking in my head grew a little louder and I pressed my palm to the side of my head where it was hurting most. I could not stop it. It was inside me and I could not reach inside and turn it off, it was impossible! My brows knitted together in inward confusion.

"Then what is this place?" He pressed on.

"Wonderland! Maybe I have been here before? I don't remember, I can't remember anything right now…" I looked up from the earthy ground where my black boot dug in, to the bright face of the Cheshire Cat. How did I recall these names? And of people I had not even met before! I tried to think back replaying images in my mind to see if Hatter slipped me a name or not. But I was sure he hadn't, he barely talked about himself much either. I had to wiggle it out of him.

"Wonderland, eh?" He resumed his dizzy whirling and slow motion, defying gravity movements, "You really are you! And so you do remember! Tarrant? Know who he is yet?" The Cat's smile became mischievous; he looked like he was plotting. I felt unsure of trusting this stranger I was talking to but at the same time, my mind told me to be at ease.

"Hatter is- Hatter is…" There it was again, the throbbing head and aching chest, it escalated slowly like a shrill electrifying drone. My eyes watered; "I think I- I-" My knees unexpectedly gave way, and collapsed onto the floor. My bare knees beneath my dress dampened a little in the soil and I pressed my palms to my face, suppressing the tears from flowing. I was glad they did not come. I stopped for a second to look up at Chessur floating above me, his eyes and teeth luminous in the dark – leaning down tilted towards me and resting his round head on his paws and arms.

"Chessur?" I mumbled, though my voice cracked a little. He gave one last brightening grin across his face and then disappeared into the night in a puff of smoke. Pieces were coming back, little by little - just places and names, but no character, relationships just yet.

I was left alone but for the quiet sounds of the night time insects singing their songs and once again, the wind whispering untranslatable words in my ear. My hair fluttered a little in a wind as I stood, and my legs shaking. I had so many fragments in my mind floating around without a purpose or an origin. Like Chessur, they floated where they wanted. They just stayed there, waiting to be put back together. And I wanted to.

I turned back down the path and unsteadily I ran. Like I ran through the rain and mud before I fell down the gate to Wonderland, with my hair and dress whipping on to my body, it trailed behind me in the air. I ran back home to Hatter.

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_A/N: _Okay, before you think anything. I will be posting the second part of this chapter tonight! And yes I am typing it now in my excitement, while this goes up! Sorry it is short. But hopefully I make it up with the next one. Enjoy!

-fallen11angel


	5. Alice and The Fragments

**Down, Down, Down**

Thank you _Ngoc_ _Chau, NightRose131, I LOVE JACK ATLAS, Tin _and _Niphuria_!

_Chapter Five

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_

I ran as fast as was possible for me and my legs were threatening to collapse beneath me as the ground spun past. But I pushed on, determined. My chest heaved and my legs shook with fatigue, my heart was beating so loud I could hear nothing else. Nothing else but my heart. Nevertheless, just as I slowed, I reached the familiar clearing where the trees stood around a long, pleasantly untidy tea table and a windmill close behind it, was looming over the scene. Though it was nearing to pure darkness, there was one moderately bright lantern hanging on a post to the right side of the table and it lit up half of the side of the table, as well as the figure I came here for.

Hatter was half engulfed in the dim, yellow light and half in the shadows of the mellow night – but they were not frightening shadows, Wonderland could never scare me. The nights here were sanctuary, just as was the glorious day. The Hatter had his head tilted downwards and was staring with wide eyes at the table, his Tea was still wallowing in its cup – cold and bitter. Ruined! Finally, I become aware of the colour of his eyes, gray. Even from so far away, they were alight. I was not entirely sure what that colour meant, but I knew that was a negative response.

As I walked as slowly as possible to where he sat, taking my time so that I could catch up on my breathing. I clutched onto the tops of the various chairs tucked into the table or set aside from it as I walked past them, holding myself up in case I fell. Because I was so very tired, sleepy and weak. I would never admit it though! My brain was slowly taking in everything else and because the long run had made my blood circulate, I was able to think at hyper speed. Things were beginning to come together, but so slowly. I knew the place, I knew I had been here before but Hatter was still a mystery... I was not dreaming anymore.

When he heard my muffled dragging feet against the grass, and my fingertips scraping inaudibly across the wood, he looked up shocked. He looked reserved at first, though upon realizing who it was, his eyes lit back up to its vivid, glowing green and he hopped up from his arm chair, almost knocking his hat from atop his head. But he caught it and held it there was he hurried towards me, beaming. However, my face was very different – I was still confused, trying to work things out and biting my lip, I allowed myself to stop a few metres away from him. He understood the message and stopped too, but his smile was still present in the slight curl of his lips.

"I thought you were gone forever!" He exclaimed, and opened his arms again as if I should leap right into them. In fact I thought that it was just a gesture of referring to me, rather than directly pointing. I must admit, I was tempted too but I stayed rooted to the ground, as if large veins of grass were holding me onto my spot. I was glad for that, as I was not ready to make a fool out of myself right now - or ever, in fact.

"Again?" I added. My eyes shyly, moving upwards to meet his gazing, sharp eyes. I tried to meet them stealthily and not look away. Hatter did not answer me, but gave me a knowing expression, as if he understood me completely. I did not understand him though! What is he thinking? I wanted to ask aloud - I did not.

I took a step forward, and gaining momentum. I went up as close to him as possible and tilted my head up so I could study every single detail of his face – his green eyes, the dark hair that fell into them and his lips, parted as if he wanted to speak but could not find the right words, just as I. His breath tickled my cheek, but I held mine in nervousness.

"You see, I recognize you because you are in my dream. It's always been the same dream every night, and I only realized when I saw Chessur's radiant grin! That grin is always there in my dreams in between the trees, and you are there too, with your green eyes always standing at the end of the path. Your hat and your face… everything." I stopped talking when I knew I was not making much sense again, but the images came in my mind as vividly as I saw them when I slept - when I was soundly dreaming. Sometimes I was standing on a balcony, and in turn the characters would be around me, a Caterpillar as blue as lapis lazuli, a White Queen, a pair of twins.

Hatter pursed his lips and smiled again, I was given a little bit of self confidence from it, "I might not just be a dream?" He suggested, wonderfully. There was a sparkle in his eye that I recognised, still not particularly sure where from. A battlefield? No, that was not right?

"My father always told me that dreams are the way we sort out memories in your head. The way we whisper into our own ears…" I laughed a little, with a smile in my voice as I pictured my father sitting on the edge of my bed, telling me about the six impossible things he could conjure in his mind before breakfast. Six impossible things… I might have to try that sometime.

"I think your father is telling the truth! He is absolutely right!" He exclaimed excitedly, to which my smile increased. He pushed the ruffled hair aside from his eyes and tucking some into his high tophat so that he could see a bit better. His face was difficult not to influenced by, if he was happy then you couldn't help being happy too. I thought it would be the same when he was sad too.

"That I'm whispering into my own ears?" I asked. I also could not hide the thoughtful and curious look that appeared on my features. My eyes darted around a little at the scenery before returning back to his eyes, still unmoved, as if afraid to lose me, "What am I whispering?"

I managed a lopsided smile as I asked the question, unsure of the answer myself and directing it at him... hoping that he could help somehow.

"You are whispering that you should come back and remember all the people that know you. And love you." Within a few steps he was standing right in front of me with his pointer finger poking the centre of my temple; I looked upwards at it and frowned. He laughed at my furrowed eyebrows, his finger dipping into the dimple between where my brwos met. I was a bit disappointed because, dare I speak, I thought he was advancing to embrace me – I was very wrong. After a few silent moments of staring at his eyes and not speaking (even barely afraid to breathe) he whispered in my ear, "You promised not to forget me."

His hand closed and moved downwards to gently touch my cheeks, before pushing some of the messy hair on my shoulder backwards and placing his hand there in its place. I suppressed a shiver, and was too weak to smile. I was so lucky that my knees did not give way this time, for that would have been a ruin! Also, would have been me look like a fool!

"But I'm back! Oh, I did not even say goodbye to my mother. The things that I needed to do, were not even finished and oh god! I had forgotten so much! I know its there, but i just see an empty void." I said, raising my voice a little and my mind was clearing, though my recall was not yet complete. I was remembering certain things and yet not others such as, who exactly Tarrant Hightopp was, without the memory of ever spending time with him. I knew the name, the face but nothing else. Who was the Hatter to me?

Hatter, nodded once in understanding and dropped his hand, then placing it behind his back before finally breaking eye contact to look elsewhere. I think he misunderstood, though I did not understand myself right now either. Memory is a complex thing, and right now I was so scrambled, that I was becoming so angry with myself for not knowing anything! In hesitation I leaned forwards to him, attempting to catch my balance but he caught my face in between his two warm hands, to which my heart leapt. I shut my eyes tightly, and yet still all I felt was a motion to my right ear as he spoke to me…

"Fairfarren, Alice." He murmured in a hushed tone, that I alone had difficultly catching. Again I resisted moving, I resisted moving my face and ear towards his lips. Unfortunately, I felt his hands leaving my face and despite the warm atmosphere my cheeks felt cold - yearning for the touch to return, how silly of me! Only then did I then open my eyes. This was all too familiar…

Was I leaving? Because it sure felt like I was leaving, with an extremely heavy heart and that recognisable, troublesome aching all over my chest that made me want to fall to the ground, gasping for air and relief. He was leaving me… no! I was leaving him! This was so very, very real and familiar! I had known this from somewhere before… all of a sudden, my eyes glazed over as a few different images in my mind found their links and the pieces joined up together. It was like a thousand photographs being flicked over one by one as they moved over in my mind. But it was only so few, and nothing was finished.

_I was standing as a tiny figure at the end of a table whilst the Hatter hurried over, climbing over the cutlery (and breaking them!) until he finally bounced off the edge and picked me up easily between his fore finger and his thumb. I was wearing the small dress he cut out of the chiffon from my too- large dress, and when I had grown out of it, he kept in his front pocket. That was after he hid me in a teapot... _

_Fairfarren Alice, he said but before I could reach out and touch him. All that was left were his usual, shimmering green eyes shining in the dark, mist and I was in Upland, climbing out of rabbit hole… _

_Hatter, wanted to say… I…I... think I.  
_

But then that was all I could remember, my victorous stream of recall had ended and I was left with only seconds worth of images. I saw a few events which I believed had not happened at all before now, but the feelings were still gone away and locked in a chamber I could not find in the back of my head – screaming at me to release them. How could I find it? And how could I unlock without a key?

"Hatter?" I called out to him, remembering slightly.

My eyes darted up, impatiently towards Hatter's wondering, questioning eyes, "Oh Hatter!" I cried out, feeling the ache in my chest subside, but not much. The rest of my memory still had to be triggered or unravelled, so the ache would remain for that. His eyes lit up because, as he did, he understood exactly what was happening without us even uttering a single word. His exchange was beyond physical words, what was it? Intuition or premonition? Or was my face really that readable, as if my thoughts were scrawled onto my forehead? Nevertheless, his smile was enigmatic, and had that way of striking me where it hit best.

"I only remember so little…" I added, not trying to let confusion cloud my mind quickly again. For a moment I let the little achievement make me happy! I'd spent a few months away from this place, and afraid to forget, the magic of Wonderland eventually faded and as did its memory, again! As if Wonderland took back these memories once you had left the hole and entered the real world again.

"Alice, you're home!" He said through his smile, also happy that I had not forgotten him and now recalled his existence at least. He finally wrapped his lean arms around my body, leaving me no room to move in his embrace as I was so tightly pressed against him. I was startled by the sudden movement – not knowing where it had come from, and why? I could not breathe but I was fine with that… I felt lovely here. I felt at home...

Hatter was my companion… my friend? I smiled, relaxing and leaned on his slender chest, feeling him breathing steadily and his heart behind that. I couldn't remember our relationship, but it felt bigger than that. I threw away the thoughts at the first sign of upcoming pain.

"I forgot. And I still forget some things…" I whispered, guiltily. Trying to remember anything past the first tea party with the Hatter, having met him twice and leaving him, I was met with a tall black block in my mind that I could not pass. I knew the pieces were behind there somewhere and I pictured them floating in mind, fragments of memory… shattered after leaving Wonderland?

He silenced me, and became conscious of our proximity, he released me to which I tried to hide my disappointment. I desperately hoped that I was not flushing, but my cheeks felt so warm I knew they gave everything way. If I covered them with my hands, it would draw attention and look too obvious.

"Forgive me?" I asked wearily, afraid of the answer. And for a while when he did not answerat all that I was frightened he would not ever say a word! I frowned, turning my head slightly to hide my expression from him. My hair curtained my face from him, thankfully.

"You are back! Now, there is nothing to forgive." He said, soothingly. I smiled through the fact that I did not understand fully my entire story (or our story?), but I remembered a little – so I would cherish that with all I had. I knew Hatter, but how did I feel about him? And who else had I forgotten in Wonderland?

_Fairfarren, _all I knew was I never wanted to hear those words from his lips ever again.

* * *

_A/N: _Oh gosh! I got so very excited I'm not sure if this turned out right? Basically I didn't give the whole dish away, she only remembers a few things but remembers nonetheless!  
What do you think? I now have a vague idea of what can happen, but of course tell me if you have anything too! :) Enjoy!

-fallen11angel


	6. Alice and The Rain

**Down, Down, Down**

_Chapter Six

* * *

_

"How do you think I can get my memories back?" I asked Hatter unsurely and with a weak voice, though I was fairly sure I had held it well from breaking or trembling. But I was not sure why I was afraid of asking?

I continued to follow the familiar path across through the centre of the deep forest, still remaining neatly covered in millions of spectrum coloured leaves, as if undisturbed by my presence the night before, and surrounded by a mountain of towering trees. When I looked up into the sky, past the tops of highest leaves that filtered in the oncoming moonlight, the sky had an orange and pastel pink tint to it – the sky around the glowing moon was silver and blue. The place was neither menacing nor frightening, and this appeared to be the time of day we were out most – for it was not too hot, or too cold. This was now decidedly my favourite time of day, if I had not ever mentioned it before.

This time the path was not followed alone, for I was with Hatter and I was walking at a calm, gradual speed – this time, there was no sign of pain at all. I was able to count my footsteps as I breathed and placed each one in front of the other in turn, my hands playing with the frilly ribbon around my waist to keep my hands occupied. I dared to sneak a quick glance at the tall man beside me, and smiled to myself at the thoughtful look on his face that I liked so much. Thankfully, a soft breeze came by and blew the curls of my hair across part of my face, concealing the smile completely from my companion. My smile only widened.

"I presume, your memories will return according to triggers that remind you of the past. Just like you were reminded of those few memories because of a glimpse of the tea table… or me…" He began, with a little more sureness than I had ever begun with, nevertheless the troubled tone was unhidden in his voice. He was fighting to save me, like a hero and that made my stomach flutter.

"My memories were triggered when you said," I winced a little with a sharp stab in my body that caused me to knock away the words from my mind, and tackling the strike full on so that there were no traces of me struggling to Hatter, "…Goodbye."

I saw Hatter turn to look at me abruptly from the corner of my eye. His green eyes, which were shining so brightly in the dimming light, threatened with a spark of grey that overwhelmed the intense glow in his eyes. I didn't dare to turn my head to meet them.

"Your memories will come back if you follow the path that you took when you last came here." He announced into the silence, and returning back to the subject before, avoiding the previous one. I was glad, because it meant that I had no explaining to do, or any awkward situations involving this of the sort. Instead we continued walking together, while we bought pondered. Well, Hatter did because I had just begun to daydream about silly things… like holding hands. My cheeks became rosy as I tumbled back to reality… like I tumbled down the rainy hole? But that wasn't me tumbling into reality… this was something else.

"So where exactly is my path leading to now?" I asked with a sparked curiosity of reliving the journey I had taken once before – however, feeling distraught for the fact that I had none but little recollection of it. I had a quick flash across the eyelids of my closed eyes as I blinked, of Hatter picking me up between his thumb and finger, before hoisting me across a clattering table. Though the memories were small and few, they made me so happy that my eyes watered, because things that were once empty were now beginning to make sense. That emptiness in my life was there – but I knew that something was there before.

A small, nearly unnoticeable smirk appeared and played on Hatter's rose tinted lips, before he began, "The Blue Caterpillar…"

I stifled a sharp gasp of subconscious realization, which meant I began to speak words that had barely ever crossed my mind since the time they were forgotten. I so disliked when that happened, when my memory got ahead of me and spoke without my consent. Even if I didn't know what was happening in the world around, I wanted to know what was going on inside my mind, at least. My delicate fingers darted up above my parted lips as if surprised they could even speak – or speak words I never knew.

"Absolem, The Smoking Caterpillar?" I asked half in statement of the truth and the other half in question.

Hatter laughed, a deep beautiful laugh that had me freezing on the inside, willing me stop moving my feet despite them still walking in sync with Hatter's own graceful trail. The tail of his coat fluttered in the wind was I glanced down at our feet. Yet my feet staggered forwards, no match to his two refined ones that barely left traces in the dust.

Likewise to my memory, had he been so pleasant a dream or so graceful to my mind that afterwards it was almost as if he had scarcely left traces of himself behind for me… I was thinking about this too hard. At this point, the progression of my madness was slowly and surely becoming true. Though I was able to fully function as a person, I was soon beginning to lose my mind from over thinking. About everything. About everything especially Hatter.

"So you still recall the name? Absolem, seems to know everything about anything, or anything about everything. Either way, I'm sure he may spare us a few wise words regarding your memory problem." The cheerfulness in his voice was heard, as was the curl of a smile that stretched across his face. I had decided to allow myself to stare full on, twisting my head in his direction to be able see it clearly. I wondered inwardly, if he had ever looked this happy with me before and if I had ever shared laughter with him. Shocking me out of my daze, I was knocked back as he outstretched a finger and poked my forehead. I had not fumbled backwards with the mere force of it, but it was as if his touch was so overwhelming I had to retreat… or maybe I would melt? Freeze? Collapse from my knees giving way? I was sure he had not felt the surges of electricity that erupted from that one touch.

Suddenly the chuckle in his voice halted and his animated face froze slowly, as his eyes widened to look straight up into the darkening sky. If his ears were not so invisible underneath his hair and large hat, I swore they would have perked up also, as if he were hearing something in the distance. I too stopped in my tracks to lean forwards into mid air and listen for any unusual sounds or voices in the dark. I found none, but Hatter began to look around him upwards. Was there bird in the sky? Was it singing a song that only the people of Wonderland could hear? I wanted to hear too! Though I cupped a hand around my ear to magnify my senses, it did no good. It made no difference.

I was shocked when Hatter began jogging forwards, his brogues still made no sound as they collided with the ground, just as gracefully and easily as he walked, whilst beckoning me with one hand. I only followed at a slow, pensive pace. But I could not help it, since my muscles were numb.

"Hurry up, Alice! The gems are coming!" He yelled hastily from our distance ever increasing, as he hurried away I was left alone dragging my feet. I knew he wouldn't come back to carry me even if I wished for it… I was being lazy. I pushed myself to a brisk walk and eventually reached the half-clearing that Hatter had disappeared to. I had goosebumps from the thought of being left alone by him, the thought og leaving him. Oddly enough, as bright as the clearing was, with the large moon appearing to rest on the peak of a shady mountain, this clearing did not give itself away down the forest path. Instead it just appeared after one step. One second in the dark forest, another second in a bright empty clearing.

"Hatter?" I called out, frightened and observed the landscape with quick darting eyes, scanning over for the familiar figure. This clearing was not too large before the forest on the other side began again. Similarly to the clearing for Hatter's tea table, this was the same size and the same prim grass cut. On the other hand instead of a windmill and tea table, there was an array of spaced out trees, though they did not stretch up as high as the other trees in the depth of the forest, these were wider, with more foliage and with a carved half side of the trunk so that it was hollow and smooth. It looked almost like the back of chairs – tree chairs. Around it the branches curved back around the trunk as if it were embracing itself, or concealing the chair inside?

Hatter leaned out from the side of a tree trunk suddenly appearing directly in front of me – he made me jump, though I caught him smile at the idea of having scared me before his expression changed to a serious one. A worried one.

"What are you doing out there? The gems are going to get you!" He exclaimed, before running forward towards me and grabbing my elbow, pulling me into the safe shade underneath a large tree. I could not help but feel the hairs on the back of my neck raise at the thought of being followed, or that somebody was going to get me! Dear Lord, I began walking as fast as Hatter, we would have looked ridiculous – though I did not have enough willpower to stop me from peeking behind me in the shadows of the forestry behind us. It looked like it would close up and engulf me, had I not escaped into the empty land… and abruptly the air became humid, I felt fine sweat on my shoulders.

"The gems?" I asked, my voice trembling as we reached the shelter of the branches. Unfortunately, the warm, electrifying touch that bonded me and Hatter together for a brief moment, disappeared as his hand slipped away and down at his side – far from my reach. Not that I dared to reach for it, for the consequences would be disastrous. I shivered, despite the humidity.

His back was to me at first, but he turned around just in time to witness me shiver. With a raised brow he began to ask, "Are you cold-" To which I childishly shook my head vigorously, so he did not find it necessary to finish his sentence, instead he answered my other previous question.

"The gems! Oh sometimes in Wonderland, Alice, it rains and at others it gems! Just literally, it's dangerous because pink shining gems fall out of the sky! And you wouldn't want to be caught up in that would you?" He gave another cock of his eyebrow before throwing himself down onto the grass floor, leaning in the cove carved into the tree – like an armchair! I followed him with my eyes as he sat down; I hesitated and shifted from foot to foot. Instead of sitting beside Hatter as he patted at the ground beside him in the armchair, I took a seat the edge of the safety of the branches, just enough to see the rest of the clearing and trees that surrounded us and also be sheltered… from the falling gems? Gems?

"That's absolutely ridiculous! Gems?" I said in a huff, as I too threw myself down onto the floor – but less gracefully as Hatter, and more like a flimsy fool. The dress fell in tides around me and my fingers never left the cloths of my dress, wringing it in my small hands.

"Be careful," He called from behind me and I could almost hear the mischief in his voice, "It would be quite unfortunate if a gem were to fall atop your fair head." I peered over my shoulder to cast Hatter an unimpressed glance and caught a glimpse of his wide toothed smile shimmering in the darkness of the tree – I halted midway when I heard an odd sound.

"Here it comes…" He murmured, so that I thought only the both of us, alone in the world would be able to hear it. The noise I had begun to hear, was unlike anything I had heard before, well not in this amount.

The sound or sounds I heard began almost silently, but was now beginning to get louder and louder until it was thundering, shaking the ground and vibrating it. My dressed rippled silently in response. The sound was a like a twinkling, the twinkling of a high pitched bell and reminded me of how I imagined stars would sound like – pretty and girly. The sound was beginning to sound like a million jewels being twinkled together and were clashing against each other to make more sound. I covered my ears now, and watched unblinking as the first showers of pink dust emerged from above the lining of the thick leaves and branches above me, acting like the roof on a front porch. The pink glittering showered and poured over the side of my artificial roof and down near the edge of my spilled dress, from there the dust dissolved magically into the earth, leaving all traces of existence gone away. I took a hand from my right ear and began to outstretch my arm out to feel the glitter, but froze to look up as the sounds became a deeper twinkling, like wind chimes and the sounds became like stones crashing onto one another. The dust was suddenly replaced by pebble sized pink gems that fell out of the sky. They were cut in the shape of dimensional diamonds, but not as sharp and others were actually the shape of rain drops. Nevertheless, with the deafening sounds they disappeared back into the earth after they fell – unlike rain, this rainfall didn't leave the ground wet or anything on it. After watching silently, with only my breathing to break the silent world I was in, I pushed out my hand the full way and into the rainfall of pink gems. I was surprised when I felt no sensation of touch or anything on my hand and averted my eyes back to see that actually the falling jewels were passing right through my hand, just as they did in the ground. I gasped. Were they the ghost like thing, or was I? Was I disappearing from this world? I checked myself, and was solid and real... I still was here, I thought.

I felt rays of reflective colour on my facial features as the light from the darkening sky rebounded off the jewels and then outwards in rays of bright spectrum light, I smiled. I continued watching with a curl on my lips as the pink rain went on and on, so thick that you could barely see a few metres distance ahead of you – the time went on like hours and I kept watching. Hours elongated, and I carried on sitting on the windowsill and watching the rain drops race down the window pane, on a good rainy day.

Unexpectedly, through all the gems that whispered past through my skin, muscle and bone, one small pink gem fell right in the palm of my hand and I retreated it back rapidly in surprise. It was about the size of the nail on my pinky finger. I gasped again and held the small translucent stone in between my thumb and index finger to study it with wide eyes. My lashes fluttered down as I stared at it before I spun around quickly and shuffled over quickly so that I was kneeling at Hatters feet, that were outstretched at the end of long legs, one resting on top of the other.

"I caught one!" I squealed in excitement, so loudly that Hatter shook and peered out from under the brim of his hat with one eye. Was he sleeping? Though I did not care this time because after several, what seemed hours of relaxing my hand underneath the ghost of jewels, one became real! I could keep it! It was a piece of the sky, Wonderland's sky.

Upon looking at the small jewel between my fingers, Hatter's eyes widened as he leaned forwards and engulfing one of his smooth hands over mine, so that he was holding it too. My heart began to beat at irregular intervals that my chest has in a pleasant pain, he pulled my hand and me closer to him to study the gem himself. I was leaning over and acorss him, but dugs the toes of my boots into the dirt to keep from falling. His lips parted slightly and eyes widened further before they rested on my face then back down again to the stone.

"Only so few have ever caught a gem! Usually it just falls from the sky and that's all! But Alice, dear! The gem suddenly materialised for you, it was not a ghost anymore and became real!" He appeared just as thrilled as me, and pulled me so hard forwards with a gasp that I fell right onto him, even though I tried to prevent it. I lost balance from his pulling force and fell on top of the Hatter. Then I froze, but he didn't notice, or care. He just continued chuckling as he looked into our joined hands, holding the rose tinted thing. I couldn't move, as my head lay on his chest and the rest of me across his half sitting body, I couldn't even breathe I was so frightened! My hair was sprawled across and my eyes were a wide as ever before, my heart had begun tearing out of my chest and in my eardrums, I knew that he heard. Anyone would hear it!

Turning blue from the lack of air, I heard the faint sound of his deep voice whispering beyond the loud drums and crashing pebbles, my eyes peered upwards and I saw nothing but his perfect lips. I still couldn't move, I was going to die this way. Even then it seemed like a beautiful way to die, in the arms of… stop thinking!

"Those so few have said that a gem that falls into your palm in the middle of gemfall, should give it to the person they are in love with…" He muttered above me, so much that my eyes watered from not blinking and there it was again, that mischievous sound in his voice – from his own innocent mouth! This was certainly not appropriate in this position and that… tone of voice! No! "So who is it that you are in love with?" He asked innocently and angelically, smiling down at me as I managed to push my arms up and lift my face in line with his. My expression became shocked, mouth falling into an 'O' and eyebrows raising high near my hairline, it looked comical, because I was sure why his smile became a toothy grin, showing off his perfect smile.

"I don't –do-don- know yet!" I shrieked, stuttering and probably turning the colour of prune that everyone teased Aunt Millie for having when she laughed or ate. It was an unattractive shade to blush – prune. Hatter laughed, "I can't handle that kind of responsibility yet!" I continued. Hatters laugh subsided and became a trace of a half smile, my insides trembled. My heart was now trailing like a salted snail.

"Yet?"

I averted my eyes elsewhere and avoided the embarrassing choice of topic the conversation had turned to. I tried to evade blushing again, because even in the dark, it gave everything I was thinking away. I think the Hatter liked the idea of that just as I liked the idea of seeing what he was thinking when I looked into his eyes. Right now, his eyes were a brighter shade of vivid green, with specks of blue, and emerald in between and the thinnest outline of pink on the edge. If I had not been so close, I would not have noticed the pink but now I saw it was glowing, enhancing the green. We were too close.

"How long will this rain last?" I questioned, my eyes glued to one root of the tree by Hatter's thigh, because at least it was not his beautiful face. I struggled to pull away this time, but was held back by Hatter's strong grip on my hand – it was now not accommodating the gem between my fingers and clasped around my hand entirely, holding me down. When I met his eyes finally again, I was rooted there too and he was looking at me so sadly, reminiscing like he loved m-… That was not right.

Hatter wasn't hearing me, and our proximity was making me nervous, my heart was probably tired from beating too quickly. Our closeness was confusing him, and me. His eyes stared on at me with the same emotion; I wasn't sure what my eyes said back, maybe they were the same. Everything was too much, it was magnified – the sound of my heart, our touch, his skin, my chest collapsing imploding. I began to heave like a madwoman.

Just then Hatter unclasped my hand and I was allowed to escape, but just before I could he caught me in his arms, wrapping them gently around me. Not constraining, or trapping me so I remained there, still. I rested my cheek in the nook of his neck, it was warm and real – what was happening? My eyes fell with heavy lids, though they struggled to keep open but this was too comfortable. It was home, I reminded myself. It was warm, soft and perfect - I wanted to close my eyes.

The last I heard was Hatter and I breathing, the distant twinkling. The last I saw were the ends of the dark strands of hair that rested against Hatter's face, I was resisting the will to touch and brush it, I saw his neck and the branches beyond that… and pink beyond _that_. I closed my eyes and eventually slept, finally giving in to biology and to the fatigue from my heart. I was tired, and so I slept, resting on Hatter.

Hatter smiled to himself, and held the fingers that protected the pink gemstone in my hand, they shone through the gaps between fingers into the dark. Hatter lifted it, and rested it on his left chest above his own heart. Placing it where it belonged.

* * *

_A/N: _Firstly, I beg for forgiveness! I did NOT give up on this story, I was just really sick last week that I could barely get out of bed, let alone open my laptop to type. But I daydreamed ;)  
And to any of you who empathise, we have to write our personal statements for school right now - it's actually hell! Well, not much else to say but enjoy! This is a really long chapter :S

-fallen11angel


	7. Alice and The Hat

**Down, Down, Down**

_Chapter Seven

* * *

_

My sleepy eyelids did not allow me to open for they were so heavy as if they weighed a hundred kilograms or just felt that way, and with each attempt at lifting one up I merely closed them tighter, snuggling into the soft bed that I was lying in. I felt warm and extremely comfortable, considering that I was sleeping with my head tilted to the side to lie on my slightly harder pillow than I remembered and with a sure hand I wrapped my arm around the side of it. This way I felt even more comfortable.

As warm and relaxed as I was, I could not help noticing the small lapping of cool morning air against my cheeks as if to kiss me good morning – I had probably left the window open again throughout the night, but I was glad because this felt lovely and like the summer. What a warm winter this was! I lay there a moments longer looking at the orange tint of my eyelids as the morning light filtered through and shone onto my face, nevertheless the light was also as warming as everything else at this moment. The colours and rays of light I could feel dancing around on my facial features from escaping between the gaps of leaves made me smile in my sleep. Well, considering that I was half–awake counted for nothing. I was still as dozy as I felt when I went to bed, and I would not mind for sure if I stayed this way forever.

I hugged my pillow a little more gently to myself as I wrapped another arm around it from beneath, allowing myself to sink into it temporarily before I froze in instantaneous shock. Suddenly, all the nerves in my body were awake and screaming – this was _not_ a bed! This was not _my_ bed! Without opening my eyes, I rubbed one arm on top over the figure of the pillow and found a slender arm instead. Had I been dreaming of a fluffy white bed, with the curtains open and billowing in the dawn's crispy air? I had! Yet, this time I was not able to receive this wish for the nicest of dreams to come true! How sad. Though my heart remained at a steady, dazed pace I was glad, because it did not add to the chaos of alerted nerves and vessels all over my body. My senses had become magnified once again, at the right moment, so that every touch burnt and stung me – forcing me to resist flinching away in a sharp jerking movement. Surely that would wake everything up with a mile's radius.

That disappeared as I managed to eventually lift on eyelid open, peering through the blurring rays of lights from through the thick leaves and confirming if the figure beside me I knew so well was wide awake… and traumatised? Or worse still, disgusted? But I blew a sigh of utter relief when the beautiful figure too was sleeping, and breathing so deeply I was sure he was far from waking up still. No, he was far away and dreaming - I had not been caught, yet. I wondered the million possibilities of what he could be dreaming - from experience my best dreams had been of flying or of the boy with the emerald eyes. Surely being the boy with the emerald eyes, I hope he was dreaming of flying instead. My lips curled upwards into a genuine smile and though the burning sensations were still there, I allowed myself to linger with my arms around his for a little while longer. Whilst this lasted, I thought and my smile brightened.

I had been leaning at a sitting position against the carved trunk of the tree, with my head bent sideways to rest on Hatter's sturdy shoulder and naturally, with my arms embracing his free right one – his hand was resting on my lap. I did recall not having slept in this position, but thankfully there were no traces at all of anything but me falling asleep on the shoulder of the Mad Hatter. As much as I knew I would be called terrible names for doing such a thing in my Victorian home back in the real world, such as sleeping beside a person of the opposite gender, let alone let them touch me, embrace me, touch my cheeck - unspeakable, I was not quite a lady nor did I plan to be so prim, but I thought of the consequences now and giggled. Nonetheless, I smiled with how happy that it was Hatter - the handsome, crazy Hatter who smiled often and spoke in odd sentence strings.

As I lay my head down, relaxing on Hatter's shoulder I felt the familiar sensation of my eyes glazing over and a few flickers of photographs moving over one after the other in my mind. As it were a playing record, except with some images missed out because they were an empty side of the music, or that the record was scratched in a lot of place… it kept playing and I could not stop or control it.

_I was a small, miniature version of myself again standing on a cut, dead stump of a tree screaming at the Hatter's turned back as he began to walk away from me and leave in the dying part of the forest alone. I understood finally that my size was because of efficiently hiding me in a teapot from the Queen's soldiers now, having me drown in a bottle of potion would have been much easier if he had asked. There was no time for manners then… and I knew this place was where Hatter used to be most, before it perished in fire. _

_I was screaming for his attention, waving my arms but he returned to me, crouching down before putting me back on his hat... _

_I held onto the ribbon of the top hat later, resisting the urge to scream and hiding the hate of being vulnerable. For if I was the right, full size I would taken the Hatter's hand and run. Instead he threw me across the river spinning and the hat rebounded off a brawny tree trunk before colliding on the floor with the dirt. With a last look Hatter was tied and taken away without his precious hat. I was alone. _

That was it, but it was enough. I unexpectedly sat upright in my surprise and gasping for air with my hands clutching for life to my chest, darting and checking for injuries, it was so painful and my head was throbbing. I continued to heave for oxygen whilst joyful tears began to stream down my rosy cheeks and the pain quickly subsided after that. I laughed quietly to myself because I remembered something! I had remembered more! The chamber I pictured in the back of my mind, bound my chains and locks was slowly becoming free… I laughed a little louder, clawing to my face to get rid of my timid tears.

It was like Hatter was used to being disappointed, abandoned and having things disappear before his eyes. He had disapperared before mine when I left. He had so much history I had not known, and still did not – but he still always maintained hope in the world. He was very much an optimist whilst I was a pessimist, which did not stop him having faith in other people, especially me. New warmth for him grew inside of me, adding to the things I had loved about him before. Not that I loved him… did I?

Out of the blue, I reached for his dear top hat, which lay on the floor beside him, probably having toppled over during the night. Looking around there were no traces of gemfall from yesterday as Wonderland was left as perfect and untainted as it had ever been. As silent as if it had been untouched, a person could have easily slipped in and out of this world without a trace, without a memory... There were no stray dew drops on grass leaves, or even shimmering pink crystals hidden between the flowers from having fallen from the sky. I leaned over Hatters unmoving figure, hearing his breathing against my ear and clutched the hat with my fingers, then pulled it back to me where I sat cross legged facing him. My heart began to race for a brief moment as he stirred and I believed he would reach out with amazing reflexes to halt me in my tracks or even wake up finding me in this awkward position above him. Oh dear.

I hurried back to sit as I played with the velvety texture of the hat in my hands, smoothing it over one way and another the next. The bright red ribbon that was still perfectly wrapped around the outline of the deep black hat and shining against the light, the odd tag tucked to the side of it was still stuck in place. I was so careful to leave it the way it looked for I would be devastated if I broke anything, worse yet how would Hatter feel if I had damaged his lovely hat! But then I began looking for something. Something that had immediately become precious to me the moment it fell into my hands, it was shining, pink and a momentum of sparks flying, and embraces with the Hatter that I know held so close beside my heart. It was difficult to miss, if it were not for the size.

I patted the grass around me searching for the stray gem and found nothing, but hesitantly I kneeled forwards onto the unsteady position of my heels digging into the ground and poked the front pocket of his matching black blazer. Luckily I found nothing there as well, meaning there was no need to reach into it or having the problem of possibly waking him up – which I wasn't sure, was a problem anymore. I wanted to smile at him and tell him what I remembered, I wanted to know what he thought, see his smile too. But for now, my thoughts would be kept to myself. Maybe for a long while.

I watched him silently for a moment, careful and ready to hide my face if ever he caught me. His face looked peaceful, rather than the usual thoughtful, reminiscent or plainly insane look that he had on his features constantly. I found it endearing mostly, and others just comical, though he was still unsure as to why I would giggle from time to time watching his face. Right now, my stomach did a small flip as the butterfly feeling erupted inside me, no these were not butterflies these were birds! With his head tilted back slightly, his eyelashes hid his wide, handsome eyes, closed and his partly opened lips where breath came out, I blushed whilst looking. I forced myself to change the path of my gaze; I choose the hat as an amusing distraction. I continued my search for the missing gemstone, but halted short of myself when I found it shimmering in caught light underneath Hatters hand, which was previously on my lap.

This time without uncertainty, I almost leapt forwards to remove Hatters slender fingers from around the shining shone, all the while ignoring the sparks that made my fingers want to flinch when I touched him. I took back the stone into my own grasp, safe from the fiery touches and picked up the top with my other hand to observe them both at eye level. The hat and the gem, sounded like a lovely story if there were anything to it.

Hatter choose that one moment to wake up and with a timeless, beautiful grace that I refused to stare at as he straightened up to sit, rubbing his eye with one hand and peeking through at me with his open eye. He smiled, muttering a morning greeting to me before asking curiously, rather than angrily what I was doing with the hat. I smiled widely, almost with too much force as I answered.

"I want you to hold onto this for a while for me, okay Hatter?" I whispered to him, but sure he would hear as clearly as if I were shouting or speaking aloud. He nodded, with a half smile on his lips and that was enough of a response from me. I took the gem to place in between my fingers, peering through it and into the sun shining hazily in the sky above, pink rays of light shone all over my face. Afterwards, with brief acknowledgement towards Hatter, I pushed it into the tough velvet material on the front, above the ribbon with my right thumb. It sunk in as perfectly as I had intended and wished it would, the backing of the hat in that place dented backwards slightly to mould its shape to the gem. Thankfully, whilst I prayed inward momentarily I let go of the gem and found it working accordingly, staying in the hold that the material created. Hatter's hat now had a small pink gem shining at the front of it, and I sighed with relief as it remained there unmoving, so I was sure it would not get lost – not that either of us would let it.

As I looked up at his radiating jade eyes, they twinkled as the gem did, now in his hat and his lips widened further into a full smile, he held out his hand to me. Before I misunderstood and put my own hand into his to hold it, I smiled weakly and placed the top hat back into his hands where they belonged – now with my heart. It was like watching my heart out of my body and given to somebody else, he wore it now. I disguised it well, I thought, but I was giving my heart to him, even if I wasn't entirely sure of it just yet. My slow memories were leading me… leading me somewhere. Home, I reminded myself inwardly for the millionth time since I fell down the rainy hole in a muddy mess.

"I'll protect it with all of my heart," He said out of the blue, and shocking me out of my daze as I looked up abruptly to his serious, thoughtful face. He finally propped the hat onto his adorably messy hair, still looking immaculate in front of me. Then he tilted it at angle with a cute smirk directed towards me. I tried not to blush too uncontrollably, "I promise not to lose it." My thoughts flickered over that word, and I saddened a little inside of me, wasn't I a betrayer of that myself… I stopped the tears before they could breach my eyes and show to Hatter. My mouth opened, forgetting what they were supposed to say and changed the string of sentences completely, I said something else instead.

"I'm sorry, Hatter, I know I've broken my biggest promise." I stared down at my lap and avoid his piercing eyes which I felt on my skin; these were like ice this time, not like the touches which burned me. I played with my fingers to distract myself from what could come next.

"Don't be sorry," He said with the softest voice I had ever heard, it was sincere but sad at the same time – it made me sad too just hearing it and the tears threatened to return despite my fighting it, "It wasn't your fault…"

"But it was!" I exclaimed, accusing and upsetting myself more.

"We will find your memories!" He said in a strong voice that cut me off, I finally looked up at him staring with large eyes and a gaping mouth. His eyes, glowing almost brighter than the day's own light were gleaming a darkening grey over the jade green it was before and he was now standing to tower above me – since I only just reached his shoulder whilst standing, sitting he seemed like an empowering giant. I so dearly wanted to reach out and touch him, to hold him, but I could not. I tried not to.

He held out his hand to me suddenly, surprising me at his tone of voice and how quickly the grey evaded from his pupils. I relaxed with a deep sigh as I took his hand, my skin flaring up like a sickly fever. How did he not feel this fire or ice? It felt like more mixed together to make a new sensation that only the insane part of myself could feel, because I was sure from the unfaltering expression on Hatter's face that he felt nothing at all. His eyes gave nothing away either. We stood close together, still holding hands whilst I stared directly at the shirt over his chest and I knew he was looking down likewise at the top of my head. I let go to drop my hand to my side, and reluctantly he mimicked me.

I decided to change the subject to a more cheerful one; for once I would try to be the optimist. I wanted to be like the Hatter in the way that my emotions did not falter, I kept well composed and I would try to see the hope in every situation! I smiled brightly thinking of how wonderfully Hatter had practiced it, I upturned my head to face him honestly and though with a little look of astonishment, after a second he returned the gesture.

"I remembered a little more, Hatter!" I exclaimed, beaming as I recalled my thoughts and wondered ahead of how best to describe my memories to him, because I wanted to tell him everything always, this was the first step, "I do believe the best way to travel is by hat." I quoted, laughing. He chuckled likewise, looking excited to hear what I had remembered suddenly looked nostalgic as he thought back too.

"Why, Alice. It's a shame that you are far too big to travel by hat anymore!" He continued, joining in the joke and story, grinning with the most beautiful smile that I had come to love so much, "However, we must make a compromise and travel by hand!" He said, and unexpectedly making me jump by grabbing a hold of my hand. His warm touch lingered as he continued to hold it, with an approving smile he began to pull me along with him back down toward the other opening for the forest to continue our journey finding the rest of my memories.

I fell into step with him eventually, rather than letting him drag me along my the hand and after the heaving, I found that this was rather nice. I let my loose grasp around his hand tighten and bind us together a little more.

As we walked together, hand in hand I began to tell him the details of my memories, loving it whenever he found it in him to see it as funny, or laughable or joyous. We laughed together, though I was unsure what holding hands really meant.

Nevertheless I decided, I quite liked travelling by hand.

* * *

_A/N: _I hope you accept this as a valid chapter, I know it's short, filler-y, and cheesy but I had so little time between piles of homework. YUCK!  
Tomorrow is friday so I promise you a better chapter, and maybe another! Lets see how long I can write for, eh? Enjoy :)

-fallen11angel


	8. Alice and The Caterpillar

**Down, Down, Down**

_Chapter Eight_

* * *

As the beautifully crooked branches of the tallest trees snarled down at me, looking fairly distorted yet without menace I thought to myself of the strange and obscure place that Wonderland was. A place with a million sceneries and a million faces, like its characters. Hatter for one, also had a million expressions and faces – all of which I intended to see.

A place I had loved all along, though my memories only held few traces of it. It appeared as though in this part of the forest that the trees were slowly contorting themselves towards our direction, to which of course, I treated with my habitual scepticism and disregarded with a fleeting glance. My footsteps echoed Hatter's more graceful ones and as we walked on we found no need for unnecessary small talk, we were comfortable in silence.

My fingers were still curled around the Hatter's sleek palm, which I had only noticed to retreat when I felt the ends of his slender fingers slipping through my hand. I motioned to catch a finger in the hook of one of my own, but thought of nothing than the consequence of my own embarrassment and took my hand the rest of the way out, unbinding us. The emptiness of his hand in mine left a twinge in my heart so minute I was able to shrug it off as if it were nothing but prickling pins and needles in my fingertips. I flexed my hand in front of me so that I had to look down towards the ground and studied my nails, my knuckles and everything else instead of facing the piercing stare that I knew Hatter to wear, especially when he was analysing. In this case, analysing me. I thought something would have changed about these hands, which have just held hands with a boy for the first time but they were no different – though they felt it.

He took a few long strides and got ahead of me eagerly, his body leaning forwards as if he were drawing towards the coloured ribbon of a race finish line. I looked up from behind his tall figure in time to notice a muggy smell and a mist that had suddenly appeared to surround us, in the time I had drifted to dreamland and come back.

I coughed like sick child at the humid and suffocating smoke that I had already inhaled in my lungs, before I began swatting the mist away from my face. As I pushed away the thick fog from near my face I began to be able to see a distance in front of me, as if I had waved away a cloud that had fallen from the sky – I was briefly reminded of a time when Uncle Albert blew a ring of smoke into my face and I was left coughing for minutes. Out of the mist, I suddenly saw Hatter reappear before my eyes as he quickly took my wrist in his hands and pulled forwards that I had to lunge forwards to keep up, though forcefully saving me from the dangers of intoxication by smoke and into a clearing of oversized plants and flowers.

This clearing was but a merely circular space and only coated in a very light mist of smoke that was barely noticeable but for the swirls and shapes it made in the air, otherwise the smell of it was gone. Around the clearing the smoke was much thicker and darker, possibly where I was standing just moments before. It acted as a wall of protection, as if whatever was here had not wanted to be heard or to be seen. Out of the over grown, giant leaves that looped in the centre of the clearing and the bright flowers that loomed over me, I half expected an insect of the same prospective size to emerge from one of its petals to come and greet me. A beetle perhaps, a butterfly but frightfully, I hoped for anything but a giant spider. I shook with a little terror and excited familiarity as a leaf in the very middle of the floral entourage rustled. A caterpillar, was obviously more suited to this situation. A blue one.

I looked over to Hatter for a little encouragement that we were safe and fine, and then became pleasantly relieved when he threw me a toothy grin through the light mist between us. His smile was as bright as the vivid flowers that I caught it infectiously and found myself beaming back, for no reason. Without warning, his warm smile became an expression of perked annoyance, his nostrils widening, his forehead creasing and a low sigh escaping his parted lips. He confidently marched up to that centre leaf and shook it violently, as well as vigour; I barely had time to accustom myself to that previous smile. A vein somewhere in my head snapped and I tightened my lips like a child not receiving her birthday gifts.

"Come on Absolem! Enough with this smoke before my lungs give out!" Hatter called out sharply to somebody I could not see from where I was standing and still shaking the leaf. Even as I stood on my tiptoes and peered into the darkened depth of foliage Hatter was talking into, I still could not see whatever Hatter could see. I felt hurt and left out; pursing my lips as Hatter rapidly leapt back and elegantly avoided receiving a particularly large ring of smoke in the face. If only I had been blessed with that grace upon my first meeting with my Uncle Albert, if I dared try leaping back like that I'd only result in tripping on my own feet and landing on my bottom! Then surely, I would have still received a poisonous ring of smoke in my face as a sign of defeat – the story of my clumsy existence.

Reverting back to the reality of where I currently was standing behind the sleek figure of a tall man sporting a top hat and colourful attire, I shook away the reminiscent thoughts of my astonishingly difficult relatives. I suddenly jumped at the shock as the previously discussed leaf moved and rustled without Hatter holding onto it, whilst Hatter himself took a small shuffle back, sweeping an arm half up to shield me in protection. I peeped over it in curiosity as the leaf crackled.

This time, as slow and sluggish as the passing of time in this place, a rather large and pleasantly plump caterpillar the colour of lapis lazuli emerged from the depths of foliage looking rather unkempt and displeased. I stifled the urge to burst out laughing at this poor little creature and his striking resemblance to my Uncle, apart from the fact that he did not bear the same ridiculous handlebar moustache that everyone knew him for. My eyes widened as he drew closer to Hatter and I, trudging or rather dragging himself with his heavy insect body unwillingly to the point where he reached the end of the leaf and it drooped down towards the grassy floor for it could not hold his weight.

When Hatter deemed it safe to free me, he stepped aside and as if a magician presenting his new assistant or magic trick he held out his arms at me to show me off to the displeased, plump Uncle caterpillar. I did not feel the need to follow with a bow or twirl, instead I stood statue-like still, as always. "I've brought back Alice, Absolem!" He greeted, "Now wouldn't it be nice to change that sour expression of yours and say hello!" Hatter continued, this time with a rather sarcastic and playful undertone to it. However, I did agree that from the short time of me being here I too was already getting tired of that irritating, bitter face that the caterpillar still had on. Did nothing impress or move him? And why was he smoking an endless cigar?

Caterpillars, the last time I checked, did _not_ smoke?

"Why hello, Alice," The caterpillar at long last said in a sickly monotone which made me twitch, to which he added, "If you are _hardly_ Alice." _Hardly_? He slid off the last part of the large grass leaf and ended his long journey towards us. In response the grass leaf rebounded back high as the rest of the over grown plants, obviously having been released of the dead weight of a fat, smoking caterpillar. This Absolem creature now stood in front of me at a good metre or two's distance before he looked me from toe to crown, crossing unnaturally thin arms across his chest and huffing from his cigar.

After seeking a brief approving glance from Hatter, who seemed have become preoccupied with conversing with a tall sunflower that gestured with its leaves instead of talking with its hands, I began a conversation with a bug – I sighed, daring not to question the strangeness of the world anymore.

"Hello, I'm Alice and I'm not _hardly _Alice, because I am Alice." I began, recognising that I oddly uttered my name three times in one sentence.

"Well, if you are truly Alice then what are you doing back here in Underland and also, whooo am I?" He cooed, flicking his cigar so that a few dribbles of ash fell off from the end of it and into a pile that was growing on the patchy green, grass below.

My brow twitched as I temporarily wondered why Hatter had ruined my lovely, good mood to bring me to such an unpleasant character and I forgot the reason we came. If anything, I could understand why I could forget a strange creature as him, possibly because he was too bad a memory to try and recall!

"You are... annoying as ever!" I responded with a 'hmph' before mimicking his stance with crossed arms and standing defensively with my feet at shoulders width apart, despite weirdly knowing vaguely who he was. The caterpillar won, and he smiled a smile so deviously wide I wanted to flick his face. Was he really all knowing? About anything and everything, or everything and anything – so to quote?

"Now, now!" Hatter mediated, waltzing over between us like a referee for a sports game and gave me an apologetic, understanding look before giving the caterpillar a distasteful, stern one. Obviously his conversation with the lady sunflower was over, if there was much to talk over with a flower. How about, for example... are you getting enough soil and water?

"Let us not get into a petty fight here and remember why we really came to visit. Tell us how we can get our dear Alice's memories back?" Surprising as ever, I gaped at the endless wonders that were Tarrant Hightopp and gulped back my unlady-like, impolite annoyances in order to move forward.

Absolem's 'meek' wide smile never once faltered and with another habitual flick of his never-shrinking cigar, he turned to face Hatter, "Has the child forgotten about us all over again? Even after all that trouble in the Queen's garden." He sighed and twiddled his free thumb and forefinger in which the cigar was cradled in between, he wore a look of thoughtfulness. He breathed a mist of smoke through his nostrils.

Given a space of sheer silence, I took the chance to gaze up at Hatter beside me in search of how I should feel or react in this oddly familiar situation. Whilst the caterpillar continued the long, thinking silence Hatter caught my hopeless look, shrugged and shyly slid his hand back into mine as a sign of encouragement, apology as well as a dozen other feelings I thought holding hands could mean at a time like this. I flushed slightly, still not having been accustomed to holding hands with-

"It seems you will just have to trigger her memories by doing familiar things from her last visit, like maybe talking to various characters she encountered before... the twins, or the Queen perhaps?" _How futile!_ I thought as he announced, gesturing in a far off direction as if pointing to where the people formerly mentioned were. Another thing, why was he talking like I wasn't here? Inwardly I also thought about how we came all this way, when he merely stated the obvious.

"Oh! What a clever idea Absolem, you really do know about everything and anything! Thank you very much, we should do just that!" The Hatter praised brightly and energetically, patting the creature on the right shoulder as a sign of thanks and without a hint of sarcasm. I raised my eyebrows at both Hatter and the caterpillar, having thought that Hatter said exactly the same thing not too long ago! How was he getting strung along so easily, was I the only one aware that this caterpillar had no special knowledge than the rest of us maybe?

Instead I held my resentful tongue again and felt the nagging feeling of having recognised the 'twins' as a mischievous pair named Tweedledee and Tweedledum who both wore matching striped shirts, stockings and red playsuits. I stared off beyond the foliage behind the caterpillar's head into the distance with a strange sort of feeling as if I knew exactly where to find them... and a Dodo? With that, I felt no urge to stay in this smoky, suffocating place a moment longer and tugged at Hatter's gripped hand in the direction in which I sought.

"Let's go Hatter, they are this way." I pointed faintly and stated in a manner that had me in disbelief, as if I was so familiarly accustomed to this place already and wondered where this was all spouting from. I continued to pull Hatter along behind me and pictured his bewildered face, with a gaping mouth and eyes the colour of emeralds with curiouser delight. Before disappearing into the field of outgrown, vertiginous plants ahead of me I looked over my shoulder to where I knew the caterpillar would be simultaneously retreating from.

I cast him a brief smile, thinking of a few memories that clicked together in my head in the short while I was in this place. _Looking over an enormously long map that was more a timeline of events than an indication of locations, being told I was to fight with a monster called a Jaberwocky and I was not feeling too confident about it. After all, I had never even held a sword or dared to ever pick one up... but I was going to and I did. _

_There was a maze with hedges a feet's height taller than my own, embellished with red and white ever bloomed roses and a sunset that dazzled the Wonderland sky as I conversed with a familiarly, all knowing caterpillar over my troubles and fears. Whereas he previously had prickled my annoyances, I thought of him now as kind and understanding, he reminded me of my visit to Underland as a child._

_I pictured a Knave with a face as pale as a white, painted wall and an expression so cold it could melt wax like a fire on a candle. Likewise, his personality was uncaring, deceiving and I stood across a chequered board from him as he was dragged away banished to the Outlands with the... who? _A few memories retraced its way back into my conscious thoughts and I recognised this wonderful sensation of remembering a few things.

Absolem was irritating and misleading, but I owed him a lot for my memories the last time I was here too, "Thanks Absolem!" I called behind me, though I was only talking to his shady blue back as he slugged ahead, "You gave me a lot of courage before and I think we've established that I am the _same_ Alice from back then! I'll be going to get my memories now!"

With a scoff, and without once turning back to show us his face he waved that smelly cigar across the air in the gesture of a fleeting wave. He blew a ring of smoke.

* * *

A/N: I've been absent, I don't expect forgiveness this time. I thoughtfully had to reread my previous chapters and actually wrote down (PLANNED!) what I was going to do with the rest of this story! I also noticed many, many typos - so forgive me for the mess on that, I obviously typed out the chapters on here rather than on word.

But would you believe what's happened, I've finished highschool and Alevels forever and lost my first love, what an eventful year oh! and had an operation - nothing interesting. I found this meaningless chapter already typed on my laptop so I'll upload it now and write a better next chapter this weekend. Hope you enjoy this! *tears prickling* It's so nice to be back!


	9. Alice and The Twins

**Down, Down, Down**

_Chapter Nine_

* * *

Very tall and yet even taller dark green grass leaves shielded my view as I blindly surged forwards through it. Now and then I would pass my hands over an outgrown weed to push it away from me, making room for us to walk through and a ray of warm sunshine would finally come through without any plants blocking our view from the sky. I gave a quick glance upwards at the summery blue, cloudless sky just before I let go and the giant leaves would fall back into place again to leave me in a reclusive darkness. I listened out for the rustling of plants, my small footsteps and the sound of Hatter's warm breath from close behind me, so close that if a took a step back I was sure we would collide and I would be back in those furnace like arms again. But I bit back my will and walked on.

I counted old memories in my head like a list of weekly shopping in order to think about everything and anything but what a beautiful face the boy behind me I knew had on, I thought listlessly about caterpillars, flowers, rabbits and tea. It sounded rather like a fairytale, children's book which I used to enjoy reading as a child, and even now I still enjoyed to pass my fingers over the hand drawn illustrations though I was considered too old to be reading such books. I would read novels now, though I could not help myself but to doodle a few bits in the corners of pages when I felt another need to pass the time.

In an instant I didn't expect, I heard the Hatter mumble something under his breath which I didn't quite catch. I attempted to turn around and question him about it when the oversized leaf in front of me gave way to my weight and I stumbled forwards into an endless meadow that stretched on far and wide for my eyes to follow. As I caught my breath from a little shock, I fumbled around with fixing my dress and Hatter passed by to walk in front of me, which I dared not sneak a peek at his lean figure.

When I eventually stood up straight and in what I deemed a very presentable manner with my hands holing onto not to tight to each other, I observed this completely new scenery from what I experienced before. Though I stared upon the pasture with wide, new eyes as if I was seeing for the first time my head reminded me that I must have been in such a place several times before. In this amazing, crazy Wonderland I'd seen tea sets, forestry, carved trees, gems for rain, over grown plantations and now I walked into an eerie marsh land sort of place, which was dominated by a plethora of variously sized mushrooms of all shapes and colours.

Scattered across the empty landscape I cast my gaze over thin, large purple mushrooms which had a remarkable array of blue and green spots over the top of it – peering underneath them I poked at the gills of the fungus and drew back my fingers when they felt as if they were breathing. In other places there were smaller toadstools which I recognised from the 'real world' these were cuter and plump with red tops and yellow spots, rather than breathing I thought I heard giggling from the toadstools as I passed by them. I didn't feel like asking mushrooms questions neither, particularly about why they were sharing a giggle so I walked on to where I thought I heard louder human voices.

_Oh _to see another human being! Not that I didn't remember what real humans looked like, but I craved to see a little civilisation now and then. Though my faint memories told me not to expect anything ordinary otherwise I would just be disappointed again. I quickened my pace knowing that Hatter would follow and readjusted my impression of the loud voices to believe that they were bickering, rather than sharing a decent conversation.

I jumped around a colossal sized blue mushroom which housed a dozen other small mushrooms on its top and finally met with the perpetrators of the noise. When they didn't acknowledge my presence and before I felt the need to rudley cough loudly to interrupt them, or wait for another bold, showy introduction from the Hatter... a Dodo (which I'm sure I had read somewhere was an extinct creature) emerged from the fungus abyss and pecked at the two tubby twins, pointing at me with his golden, curved beak.

Unhurriedly, I walked over to the three recognizable strangers and stretched out my arm for a greeting handshake – to which I was unsure how I would shake hands with a bird. The two chubby twins who I had been expecting to be wearing a matching attire of striped shirts, red playsuits and stockings, were wearing precisely that! I beamed at them whilst Hatter tipped his hat and voiced his greetings, and then began conversing with the Dodo about how his family were doing – without an expected warning the pair of child-like twins ran forwards at me with arms outstretched.

One whom I recalled with the name Tweedledee, as he was slightly shorter and more plump than the other twin grabbed my right hand with his two own hands and shook it, "Oh Alice, you are back!" He cheered and beamed with a cheeky toothy grin.

"I have returned Tweedledee, how do you do?" I responded with a typical polite grace which I had been taught and nagged my entire life.

The other twin whom I remembered as Tweedledum also took my opposite left hand with both his hands and likewise shook it as well, with more vigour than the first twin, "Alice! You remembered us, oh why don't you come and play with us?" This twin announced with more enthusiasm than Tweedledee and casting his brother an inexplicable look from across my torso.

"I only remember a little Tweedledum, how do _you_ do?" I answered with a little confusion trying to keep up with the two little fellows that were very short compared to me indeed, and felt a little struck shaken as they did not stop shaking my hands with excitement.

I went unnoticed as the pair began to bicker again, this time over a completely thing from what we had interrupted them from before.

"You can't play with Alice! I got here first, so she will play with me!" Tweedledee said, raising his voice and though he finally stopped shaking my hand, he was now pulling me towards him whilst Tweedledum followed in his stride and pulled at my other arm.

"Nuh-uh! I saw _and _asked her first, so she will play with _me_!" Tweedledum revoked, and then pulled at my other side until I felt that if they continued to do so I would break clean into two. I fully regretted walking blindly into this situation, even for the mere fact of collecting my lost memories. I looked over to where the Hatter was still apparently enjoying a conversation with the wise looking Dodo and wanted to call out to him for help.

Instead I tried to calm these two children down with my own beckoning, which of course failed, "Please Tweedledee and Tweedledum! Why can't we all play together?" I pleaded whilst being in the heart of a very violent game of tug of war. Were they really siblings? I had never remembered having such an aggressive argument with my sister, despite having very minute disputes there was nothing like this kind of fight!

The pair seemed to not notice my completely and I became flustered when they moved onto different topics.

"Hatter!" I finally succumbed and called out to where he was standing at a distance. He perked up and turned in our direction, before I shut my eyes to pull a face of utter pain and despair I caught a brief glimpse of a glimmer of pink in the midst of Hatter's velvety top hat. As I opened my eyes slowly again and thought at maybe already my insides were ripped apart, the voices of the twins grew louder still. When Hatter looked over in my direction and walked over with the accompaniment of the Dodo, I couldn't read whether his expression told me he was displeased or angry – both of which were not befitting of the situation. Surely he should be worried, and edging to help me... if I was lucky.

"Come on now boys, let Alice go. She is having a difficult time." He murmured in a calm voice and with his palms facing us as a sign that they should stop fighting this moment.

"She surely loves me more, so she will definitely play with me!" Tweedledee screamed, unaffected and deaf to his surroundings, as well as the presence of his companions. I was not a rag doll to be tugged over!

"You're wrong she loves me the most! Therefore, she will only play with me!" Tweedledum roared, mimicking his brother.

I summoned the courage to lie in front of the crowd that was Hatter and the Dodo, all in the name of my blissful freedom, "I love you both very much and I love you both the most. So now let me go!" The last part of my dialogue sounded very agree indeed, though I had not intended to be – but pain made me cruel and I could not hold my tongue like a lady. Having recalled the first part of my sentence and the lie, I suddenly met Hatter's changing eyes and began to blush uncontrollably._ I didn't really mean that! _I wanted to say to him, but wondered why I wanted to defend myself in the first place.

A little more confusion struck me when Hatter's eyes became a darker maroon colour mixed within the swirls of mussel, murky green - an infusion which I had never seen before. But he quickly turned his gaze away from me and averted his eyes elsewhere before I gave it much more thought; he rubbed his right palm across the back of his neck looking uncomfortable and pursed his lips towards the side of his lower cheek to show a look of holding in whatever he wanted to say.

Upon noticing that the twins were gawking at me and were no longer pulling wildly for my affections, I swiftly yanked my sore, red wrists from their small, clammy hands. Inwardly, I celebrated my long awaited freedom and cheered inside my head.

"You hear that brother, she loves us a lot!" One of the twins boasted loudly and pointing at me with a tubby pointer finger and a crooked wrist. He chuckled a bold, cheeky kind of laugh as I eyed Hatter's half-turned face and the lean nape of his neck. I blinked madly a few times to get me to stop thinking such dire, awful thoughts. I could definitely be slapped on the hand for such a thing.

"And there we thought, her most important person was silly old Mad Hatter!" The other chorused along and they shared a loud, mischievous laugh which I noted as them teasing Hatter more than they were actually teasing me. "Dee, it is not he but _we_ that she loves the most!" He followed with a wink at his brother and though I was irritated that they were telling lies which I could not defend, I was actually glad that they were no longer tugging at both of my fragile arms.

The Hatter flushed a little pink in his cheeks and tipped the rim of his top hat to cover the rest of his face and his mood ring eyes before I got a chance to study the meaning behind it. I wanted to tell him that it was alright to not believe the scheming between these two unperturbed fellows because... because actually the person I loved the most in both Upland and the Wonderland was...

"Don't play silly games!" Hatter very instantly, said in an uncharacteristic voice. Was he angry? He sounded... angry? I still could not see his face and even more so as he actually turned to face fully away from us, I stared hard at his back and how his blazer fitted him perfectly in all the right places. I was very, very confused at the same time. Where was the kind, calm Hatter all of a sudden? This was new to me as well; I had seen the caring Hatter, the joking Hatter, the serious and the mischievous Hatter... now he was also angry. "Alice, have you not remembered anything?" He said and making me jump at the sudden turn of the conversation towards me.

I shook my head from side to side like a scolded child; afraid in the presence of an angry, blushing boy though I knew he wasn't looking I thought probably he could still tell I was saying 'no'.

"No! Alice still hasn't played with us!" Tweedledum cried and jumping me with a forceful embrace across my waist. I lifted my arms up high so as to not get trapped again and my eyes widened slightly as I expected something similar to be done by the other twin. I was right.

"Daft, jealous old man! You can't have Alice all to yourself!" The counterpart twin roared with equal cheek, sticking out his tongue at Hatter who himself turned back around with a look of utter aggravation just in time to see Tweedledee leap onto me with such energy that I could not hold myself upright anymore. I was knocked so out of balance that my feet went flying in the air and landed on Tweedledum's plump belly before I rolled off with a bounce, finally coming to a halt in an embarrassing position with hair all over my face and my dress looking as untidy as if I had tossed it into a heap on the floor. I puffed a few large breaths of air to spit out the hair that was in my mouth and pulling away the hair like a curtain from in front of my eyes I sat up straight again flushing to see the Hatter kneeling very close in front of me with an adorable, worried expression on his face. If my eyes were wide enough, they could engulf half of my face with ease.

The twins from what I saw were behind him rolling about on the floor having a childish fight again, but God knows about what this time and with the Dodo trying to pry them apart with his stick-like legs and beak. Feeling a little unkempt and humiliated in front of the ever graceful Hatter I tried to at least make myself look decent and less flustered. But my heart stopped beating completely and I held my breath when I felt the slight touch of his blazing fingertip scooping up my untidy hair and placing it behind my ear.

His chuckle was a deep rumble that shook my core and I tried to ignore the flames of ice that were traces left on my skin whenever he accidentally touched a bit of cheek or the top of my ear by shutting my eyes tight. This only aided in intensifying the feelings and I didn't need to see myself in the mirror to know that I had turned a putrid red colour again – so I slapped my hands over both my hot cheeks to cover them up and knocking away Hatters hands in the process in my awkwardness. Please don't look at this horrid face, I cried inside my head!

"Quick lets run!" The Hatter whispered, looking away in the direction of the two preoccupied twins rather than in mine thankfully and then held out his other hand for me to take.

I too turned to glance up at the siblings from my position on the purple and red mushroom filled floor, hoping that I had not squished any and ruined the bottom of my dress. Apparently, they had re-diverted their attention towards the Hatter and I, thus were now charging at us with full speed in order to keep me trapped in the fungus field with them. I promptly grabbed Hatter's hand with both of mine in the manner the twins had held me before and he hauled me upwards with such ease and poise that he possessed, before running a ways off in the other direction from the twins and pulling me to run in the same speed as his long, slender legs.

I tried to keep up with him and his quick pace, not daring to look back to see if the brothers were closing in behind us or not, for I could still hear their livid screams from a distance behind. With the hand that was clasping the rim of his top hat the Hatter pushed me on from the back of my shoulders, as if to cradle me within his cage like arms.

_Abruptly, I distinctly remembered a similar moment in this place several years or months ago running away at lightning speed past the blurs of murky colour and shapes that could only be oddly sized mushrooms. But wasn't running with a smile on my face in the arms of a familiar man rather I was alone and much younger looking than I did now._

_I instinctively dodged a mushroom by crouching down but kept running and thinking of escaping, when an enormous animal whom I recognised as a vicious cat-like creature emerged from leaping over in front of us and that preyed on the animals that accompanied me, but me particularly. My companions such as the twins tumbled over and scattered in various directions away from the... the Bandersnatch! The white, furry beast with black spots and rows of jagged sharp teeth stopped me running from the front and roared but I escaped into the woods. _

I smiled a slight smile from the return of the memory and escaped with Hatter into the same woods, this time running away from two rather insane twins as opposed from the teeth of the Bandersnatch.

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_A/N_: This is rather long, nonetheless I hope you enjoy. More romance between Alice and Hatter will come soon, not to worry!


	10. Alice and The Hare

**Down, Down, Down**

_Chapter Ten_

* * *

Slouching against the trunk of a formidable oak tree, I observed the Hatter breathing heavily through his nostrils and with his hands resting upon his knees. With a curved back and shut eyes, he towered over me as I knelt down amongst the leafy foliage by his feet and had long recovered from a sticky escape, than a boy who was more used to sitting and having tea than being savagely chased by two twins. After his breathing slowed to a more regular pace, he slowly took off his top hat, ruffled his already tousled hair before regaining his typical posture and placing the hat back on its dangerously tilted position atop his head. I slyly looked away when he gave the slightest sign of ever catching my gazes and a thin smile played on my lips, uncaught.

It had been far too long since I had experienced the thrill of the chase, not since long ago when I had last visited Wonderland or even before then in the late era of my childhood growing up. Even then that was more like the thrill of doing things without getting caught my mother... hiding a scraped knee under the length of my skirt and washing my face with the outside faucet before ever entering the house. Nonetheless, all traces and evidence of my playtimes and adventures were not to face the stern look of my mother, who wanted nothing more from me than to be a proper lady. Well look at me now, rather I was more like a properly crazy lady.

A lady who had managed to wonderfully conjure, as well as meet a handsome young hat maker with prickled fingers, an endearing fashion sense and obsessive love for all things related to tea.

Speaking of which – "I am most definitely in need of tea." The Hatter muttered aloud with a sigh as he brushed down his velvet blazer and pulled a leafy twig from under his shirt collar looking displeased, as if he had heard and followed my train of thought.

With a look of slight confusion and a cocked eyebrow, I stood up from my recoiled resting stance beside the Hatter – but perhaps already knowing the answer to his next question through a niggling at the back of my mind.

"Where could I possibly find another tea party at this place and time?" Hatter continued to himself, rather than speaking directly to me. Obviously, the loss of his supply of energy was in dire need of being topped up through a cup of deliciously warm tea. I noticed briefly the discolouration of his eyes swirling with specks of grey and brown like the muggy bottom of cup of tea.

Almost as easily as it crossed my mind I saw a rustic, tarnished wooden sign that had been hammered onto the tree trunk behind the Hatter. It was pointing in an easterly direction and the letters "Ch Hare" painted on it with an orange colour – which I recognised as the same colour I should expect the blazer of this creature to be.

I pointed with a thin finger at the sign, then wiggled it with a gesture for the Hatter to move away from the trunk and revealing the entirety of the lettering to spell "March Hare" as well as an arrow to highlight the direction in which the wood was also pointing.

"I do believe that the Hare is as fond of tea parties as you are Hatter, if I remember correctly." I stated off the top of my head as I marched on in the specified direction without giving much of a second thought. All that crossed my mind was the eagerness to greet another familiar face and perhaps to quench my thirst as well as the Hatter's. It didn't occur to me however, the consequences of having my memories of Wonderland come back to me at the expense of getting mulled by its inhabitants – no matter how friendly they were.

"Oh, you remember the Hare?" The Hatter said with disbelief and catching up to my jog simply by walking with his long, graceful strides. My composure was laughable compared to his with my long, flaying hair, stiff marching arms and scrunched, concentrating face – as opposed to his calmly tousled hair, hands tucked in his blazer pockets and delighted expression which was the image of art, unlike myself.

I quickened my already uncomfortable, abnormal pace so that the Hatter would not have to set his beautiful, unyielding eyes on the shameful goblin that was I, and with blushing cheeks from embarrassment called out from in front to maintain my pride, "I remember the Hare very well, thank you! He dresses very much in the same way you do, except for the fact he has no need for trousers for his Hare legs. He will be there with the Dormouse!"

I heard the Hatter's bittersweet laugh from somewhere behind me and I could just picture all things about him including his indifference to my presence, feeling the impressiveness of my new regained recollection and also some confusion about my previous comment on the trousers. If possible, I felt a part of me shrivel with humiliation.

Suddenly out of the bushes ahead of me emerged the very mythical animal which I had escaped from the claws and clutches of when it tried to kill me. With a glimpse of the white fur and gnarled teeth I had so recently remembered instantly at so close a proximity, every cell in my being caught alight with such fear that I tumbled backwards and let out the most shrill, piercing scream I had ever let out in my entire life. Having rolled backwards over one last time, resembling the precarious nature of Tweedledee and Tweedledum, I scrambled to get a view upwards from the heap of autumn leaves I was laying in to see if the Bandersnatch was heading my way.

To my utter bafflement rather than the killer Bandersnatch creature jumping upon me to eat my face, instead it approached me for a gentle nuzzle with its damp nose, prodding lightly at my dirty arms with its giant paws and providing me with the animal version of a smile to top it off. I sat up straight again from my fear-stricken state and instinctively placed a hand on the bridge of its broad nose, watching as it purred warmly, shaking my arm with the vibrations from his throat and I let out a confused "Huh?"

This was surely not the same animal I had envisioned with the violent instinct to tear my limbs apart by order of a Knave, with snarling rows of teeth and eyes that could spot its prey from miles away at a distance. Could I have perhaps regained some wrong memories...? It can't have been the case, I thought as I stroked the Bandersnatch between its ears and it kneeled down to be level with me.

"Don't worry Alice, you befriended the dear Bandersnatch during the time of the Red Queen. The chap will do no harm to you now!" The Hatter said with his calm and knowledgeable expression, rubbing a hand over my upper shoulders to comfort me or ease my tension. I tried to look unconcerned by his fiery touch and noticed the way his hand never once drifted down below the middle of my back – instead of providing me with comfort, his touch could keep me awake for days. Failing to catch my eyes, the Hatter moved on to stroking the fur of the enormous creature and murmuring to it words I could not hear. After the Bandersnatch replied with a few, short purrs and growls the Hatter interpreted for me.

"The Bandersnatch resides with Thackery and Mallymkun now! Apparently they are indeed having a tea party! Just past these bushes... here..." Hatter's warm, deep voice cooed at me from a distance as he followed the Bandersnatch in the direction it had first come out from to scare the life from me. I recognised the names as strikingly familiar and soon began to attach each to a face and personality as I got up to willingly run through the sharp bush to be with the rest. I realized my actions were usually quick after a slow reaction, something that I needed to fix by stopping my imaginative trains of thought before I was left behind.

Pulling the arms which I used to shield me from my face through the twigs in the same fashion I entered and fell into this strange underground world, I was met with a piercingly bright sunshine light which took me a minute to adjust to by blinking my eyes wildly. I let out a sharp gasp before realizing my manners and gave a short courtesy at the tea party of three, consisting of a Hare, Dormouse and Bandersnatch.

This particular clearing was very similar to the first I had experienced at the Cafe with a long table-clothed bench, assortment of traditionally Victorian dining chairs with different sewing patterns and a few sofa armchairs here and there scattered around the table. This scene was comfortably more cramped and messy with a group crowded into one corner of the table despite having dozens of seats free. The tea, biscuits and cakes, as well as scones were also restricted to the head of the table where the March Hare was seated in a bright green armchair and greeting the Hatter by pouring him some steaming long-awaited tea into a pristinely designed china cup. Despite craving the need for adequate arm room and drinking space I followed the overcrowded seating plan, cosy-ing beside the fur of the Bandersnatch who was sitting to the left of the Hare. From my red cushioned dining chair, I looked up at the Hatter enjoying his first sip of tea directly across the table before I gazed upon the sleeping Dormouse who was using a pink and white spotted bowl for a bed, and a dry tea bag for a pillow.

Upon my seating, the Hare observed me with a twitching condescending eye before leaping up in his chair, knocking off his equally bright green top hat in the process and pointing a dribbling teaspoon in my face that dripped drops of tea onto my lap. I wiped them away quickly but did not appreciate this gesture very much at all; I stifled my annoyance and pursed my lips at the unwelcoming situation.

"You! It's very rude to sit down to a tea party without first being invited!" The Hare cried and with such a violent twitch that his whole body shook uncontrollably. When he brusquely attempted to throw a cup at me, it was thankfully so out of aim that it flew miles over my head and was already empty so that I was left unscathed by the path of shoo of the Hare. Feeling so insulted by these acts, I felt my fists clench and opened my mouth wide to begin to give this Hare a piece of my mind and a helping of the etiquette on how to treat guests at the tea party – but the Hatter quickly cut me off and made me jump by slamming his mug down on the surface of the table with a loud clatter, clearing his throat.

"AND YOU! It's even more rude to throw china at your guests-" I retorted.

"Sit down Thackery you fool! Wherever Alice goes, I go and wherever I go, she goes!" Hatter said with the hint of an angry undertone though his face gave nothing away. I must say I was also slightly disappointed at how his eyes ever left the brim of his tea mug nor looked up at me, so I was left to gaze at his downcast features.

"But, buddy ol' pal!" The Hare began with his thick Scottish accent, surprisingly the Dormouse still snored unstirring and the Bandersnatch growled at the Hare in my defence. After a moment of putting his hands up in protection against the irritated Hatter, the Hare turned to the other side to holds up his arms at the Bandersnatch.

"So if you want me to stay, Alice must stay as well! If she goes, I go too. Do I make myself clear? Treat her with a little respect why don't you?" Hatter continued before finally flitting his eyes upwards to meet mine and I bore into the dark green, with specks of black pupils with my own two blue eyes. My heart skipped several beats for what seemed like hours at the sudden eye contact from across the table and an intense one at that. I eventually shut the mouth that was still hanging open from wanting to speak – I had immediately forgotten all I wanted to say with just one look, I was left speechless.

Losing the stare war I broke away to look down at the Dormouse who was now stretching and waking up, resembling a child. I also heard the background bickering between the Hatter and the Hare over what kind was simply the best brew of tea.

Once my heart had settled down, I was able to pay attention to the Dormouse who yawned noisily and reached high into the air with his small, little arms, then rubbed away at his sleepy half-opened eyes. Instead of looking up to find me perplexed and adoring of his cute movements, his eye caught something on Hatter and he immediately perked up in an instant, his ears and whiskers twitching like the Hare's fits.

The Dormouse jumped up to balance his two feet across the brim of the bowl and drew his pin-like sword to point it at Hatter, looking determined to fight and win the battle – whatever it was. Much to everyone else's unconsciousness the Dormouse let out a high-pitched battle cry before leaping a metre into the air and landing with a soft 'thud' on the brim of Hatter top hat. Both the Bandersnatch and I let a brief, astonished breath with wide eyes as we both stalked the peculiar actions of the little critter. I almost chuckled before I realized the true goal of the Dormouse and his complaint with the Hatter's beloved hat, who at this point had also noticed the mouse on his head and stared upwards cross-eyed at what he was doing there.

"Mallymkun, good evening!" Hatter called out clueless, looking upwards at the rim of his hat. As he said his greetings, I became aware of the time of day which was now drawing closer to the night. It had only been one whole day and I had already achieved and experienced so much – I'd first woken up under the coverage of a tree with the Hatter, visited a smoking Caterpillar and two disastrous twins. Only now did I realize the full extent of my thirst, hunger and actually fatigue as my eyes shut for a moment too long before snapping open again at the second battle cry of the night. I shoved a scone into my mouth and chewed vigorously when I saw that everyone, particularly the Hare was distracted by the commotion that was the Dormouse attacking Hatter's hat with his bare hands! My stomach rumbled for more despite not having finished one mouthful yet, I had gone an entire day without food.

The Dormouse used two small hands to grip onto a familiar shining gem which I caught sight of and my eyes grew larger still with shock. He pulled forcedly by placing one foot against the backing of the hat to apply more strength at the gem, which I had dented into the Hatter's hat for a reason, so I put two hands on the top of the table (no longer concerned with eating behind the Hare's back) and leant my weight on it as I half-stood up to stop the mouse.

"I want it, it's so shiny Hatter! How did you find it?" Mallymkun said through gritted teeth and pulling with all the strength he could manage – which luckily was not enough to pull the gem from its moulded nest. Hatter had quickly caught onto this and after casting me a swift look in my ready to pounce stance, he shot into action and took off his top hat with one hand to swing the Dormouse off it if he could.

Hatter yelled as he shook his hat in the attempt to get the mouse off his hat and keep our gem in our ownership. He moved onto more tactical measures by standing up for more vigour and using his other free hand to try to flick the mouse away from us. "Get off Mallymkun, that gem is mine I tell you! Mine! I mean – Alice's!"

Abruptly without a moment's notice, that left me fallen over the table from a push by the thick nose of the Bandersnatch possibly spilling some tea, crushing biscuits and crashing some china beneath me – from the force of the Hatter's last swing to get Mallymkun away the gem, it served the opposite by dislodging the gem and sending the Dormouse hurtling through the air towards the other end of the table with it in his clutches. From where I was lying on the spoilt tea party table and the Bandersnatch apologetically pulling at the back of my dress with his teeth in order to pull me back upright, I let out a bewildered scream for both concern of the flying Dormouse and what seemed like our lost precious gem. Hatter, giving me another surprise jumped onto the tea table, with the deafening sounds of crashing plates and cups as he dashed across to the other end after the Dormouse to chase him down.

He soon disappeared into the bushes after having leapt off the table in the same fashion I remembered from my last Wonderland visit when the Hatter clambered on the table top of his own tea party to hide me from the Knave and his soldiers.

Apart from the Hare yelling about his ruined tea party, thrashing and throwing china across the way just to add to the commotion, I heard the shrieks of the Hatter and mouse-like squeaks from a distance away.

I buried myself in the side fur of the Bandersnatch for protection as the Hare threw more cups our way, wherever they came close to me I narrowly avoided them and if they hit the Bandersnatch, he acted as if the hurtling plates did him no damage.

It was an odd night indeed! I hardly felt comfortable without the Hatter by my side – not even for a moment! I twiddled my fingers awaiting his return.

Hatter, Hatter, Hatter... where are you? He was a tough person to understand!

A few minutes further passed by as a silence fell dead between the tea parties last three remaining members – one of which didn't even drink tea. Whilst the shrieking grew quieter with the distance, the Hare jittered in his seat looking as if he was in conflict with himself and the Bandersnatch calm as ever, maintained his mighty posture whilst I looked like a timid mouse beside him. When the screeching and rustling of leaves had become nothing more than the echoes in the far off woods, and I began to wonder if the Hatter had really left in me in such a place like this or would ever come back for me – he materialized out of the shrubs at the furthest foot of the table with a look of victory in his eyes, a wide toothy grin and a snoring Dormouse dangling in his hand. I very much hoped that the Dormouse had simply dropped fast asleep from feeling tired of running from an enemy twenty times his size, as opposed to the other possibly, which was that the Hatter knocked him unconscious with the kick of his boot.

My heart quivered with relief as I let out a breath, like I had been holding it the entire time he was away and I likewise unclasped my tightly woven hands that were resting lightly on the base of my neck. The Hatter strode down the length of the table to his original seat and plonked himself down onto it releasing a mound of dust particles in the air from its ancient cushion, then tossed the sleeping Dormouse into his bed of a bowl. As I expected, the little critter made no signs of awakening despite his awkward position of landing from the Hatter's careless throw.

This drowsy summer night and comfortable cushioned chair was the perfect thing for making my tired self grow more sleepy now that all resolutions had been found, thus with a glance around the scene I settled into the depth of my seat even more so. Night had truly fallen upon Wonderland, though the sky was dark blue with a moonless night. The only sources of light came from a few transportable oil lamps and tea candles scattered across the table (which I realized as not having been there before), as well as the faint glow of fireflies from the woods behind the Hatter. The only sounds were the humming drone from the Bandersnatch's throat, the mumbling of the March Hare, the whistling-snores of the Dormouse and of course, the sharp chirping from grasshoppers calling out in the dark. A lullaby and symphony doing their job to put me to sleep as a breeze rolled in.

The Hatter's sparkling peridot green eyes stared up my way, speaking a hundred words that I could not comprehend and I thought back to our conversation about his long lost love, who somewhere in the back of my mind I still could not recall. Inside, a small part of me still wondered who she was and how lucky she must be. If my eyes could become mood rings, right now they too would be green.

"Did you get back my gem, Hatter?" I managed to say or did I say 'heart', fighting away my fatigue and like a young child, trying to pry my eyes wide open to keep myself awake – I was only half-conscious now.

"I only took back what's mine..." I thought I heard the Hatter reply, or had I imagined it? What was yours, my gem? My heart? It certainly was, but he surely would have not meant it in that way.

I nodded in accord although I was feeling at a complete loss. _Sorry Hatter, I can't keep up the conversation._ With a fleeting look at the blurring lights, sounds, green eyes peering out of the dark and the glisten of pink above them... This was the sleepiest I had ever been.

That night I had a dream of my memories.

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A/N: A very long chapter indeed to make up for my absence. I hope you enjoy.  
Thanks for all the support!

-Fallen11angel


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